Do I truly love God?

Picture this- You wake up. The time is 5am. You throw your boots on, grab your pack, stock up on Gatorade, and join a group of ambitious warriors all ready to set out on an intense adventure. We never knew where we were going or how long it would take us, or even how difficult the trail was going to be. We did know that we could do it though- together as we followed our Rabbi who led us.

Each day encompassed its own hurdles, along with its own triumphs as we covered the lands of both Israel and Turkey.

One adventure that vividly sticks in my mind is the day we climbed Mt. Arbel. Had someone been standing at the top of this rugged mountain peering down, we would have appeared as little tiny ants. With the temp at 120, our packs full of water, and our legs ready to go, we began our journey up. RVL, our “Rabbi” for the trip would stop at various places challenging us with questions. At one point we passed some caves that used to be the home of the Zealots who were later burned and killed by Romans. The question for me was... "How dedicated am I?"

It took us about three hours to get to the top of Arbel. I was exhausted physically, but so thirsty for more knowledge - more depth. I wanted more...and I got it.

Standing at the top,our Rabbi looked at our hot, sweaty faces covered in dust. “What would you do if I told you that I had already been up here today?” The tears welled up in my eyes.

You see, before a Rabbi would teach his group of followers a tough lesson, Rabbis would climb to a high place (like Mt. Arbel) and pray for his followers before he shared the lesson with them. RVL climbed that mountain in the wee hours of the morning just to pray for each one of us by name. He did that for me. He did that for Lori- for each one of us. He cared deeply. It hit me hard.

If I’m not willing to work as hard as I did to climb this mountain just to pray for my Talmidim (group of followers) than am I really ready to lead? Do I care enough about people to do this for them? I say I love God, but do I sacrifice my own selfish desires to really serve Him... to serve others?

My heart was deeply moved… Do I really love God like I say I do?

This is a question that I continue to wrestle with.

Each day was filled with moments like this... thoughts and challenges that penetrated to the depths of my heart so deeply that I couldn't help but come back changed