"Loosened"

In Blue Like Jazz the author, Donald Miller leaves his comfortable community of living with hippies in the woods to venture into a new job working as a Christian camp counselor. He shows up for work the first day dirty, smoky, with long smelly hair, and one bag. The director’s assistant sheepishly asks “Do you need a razor?” He responds with, “I think I have one somewhere; I have a backback or something somewhere.” He continues:

“…what would any of us lose by losing our possessions? Maybe we would gain something, like relationships, like the beauty of good friends, intimacy; you know what I mean, man? Like we wouldn’t be losing anything if we lost our stuff, we’d be gaining everything.”

The very day I read this I was sitting on a train listening to my IPOD- something that has been a huge source of sanity for me-It is my connection to hearing sermons, the news, worship music, and English language. In fact, I began to depend on it so much that I would listen to it to and from school, on the bus, as I went to sleep, while traveling, etc. It just so happened that I used it as a back up file for my computer as well… Well, the day I read those words in the book is the day I lost my IPod… hopefully to someone who is using it now even more than I did… “Ok, ok, so hold your possessions loosely” right? Well, that is what the voice inside my head kept saying!

The same week, I walked into my classroom where my open computer was sitting. “All files are corrupted” is the nice message that illuminated the screen. As of right now, everything is gone- programs, ALL pictures from the past 2 years, essays, resumes, contacts, important documents, music, even my old high school documents. Again, “hold your possessions loosely” is what kept echoing in my mind.

That same week I was denied access to my bank account because of a “compromised account” Again those darn words, “Hold your possessions loosely”…

That week I thought, surely, some sort of information in my email could help me with this situation. I have two email accounts. As I tried to log on I found that one account had been shut down permanently, and the other server was down. “Hold your possessions loosely” is what kept coming to mind.”Ahhhhhhh,……… No! I don’t want to!!!!!!”

One last effort to hold on, I dialed one of the two American numbers I knew in my head for help. No one answered.

It is amazing to me how dependant I have become on stupid little machines that make the world go round… music players, computers, ATM machines, phones, emails… ahhhhhhhhh! What is all this “stuff” that I have come to rely on so heavily? Although this has been an extremely disappointing reality to lose most of my “prize possessions”… it has also been a huge humbling lesson …. “Hold your possessions loosely.”

If I plan on living in the dirt in poor places one thing is for sure- I will not have a nice little IPOD to hook into when I’m passing by starving children on the street. Even if I stay in America for the rest of my life, I need to be careful that I am not placing so much value on something that has no worth! Once again, I like what the author had to say about “loosening” your possessions.

“Maybe we would gain something, like relationships, like the beauty of good friends, intimacy; you know what I mean, man? Like we wouldn’t be losing anything if we lost our stuff, we’d be gaining everything.”