Questions

I have been reading this book called, Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr. It was given to me by a highly respected friend who encompasses complete peace even when he doesn’t have answers to the tough questions of Christianity. I long to be at that point where I can rest in complete confidence knowing that God knows the answers and He is in control. Sure, I KNOW this, but do I really?

I thought I’d share some interesting thoughts from the book that have challenged me.

Breaking the White Picket fence mold
Rohr writes, “Transformation is radically unsettling. We prefer a static, predictable state. To achieve our resting place in “normalcy,” we tend to over-identify with one part of ourselves. We reject our weaknesses and we overwork our strengths. We all do. It makes sense. Why do what we are poor at, especially in the first half of life when winning is so important? So we ignore our true character to accommodate to what a society names as successful. Then we’re trapped. Ernest Becker calls it “the character lie” whereby we try to defy and deny death. I’m sure that’s the basis of much neurosis, many people are living out of the culture’s agenda, becoming who they are “supposed” to be instead of who God made them (180).”

Ah, this is so interesting to me because recently I am bombarded with others’ questions that I don’t know how to answer -‘Why aren’t you married yet? Why don’t you have a normal job with benefits? Why don’t you settle down?’ Guys, if I had these answers and I had it all figured out according to what our culture says is correct, then I would not be fulfilling what I feel God is directing me to do at this moment! It is difficult for ME to understand, let alone explain it! Yes, I’m perhaps breaking cultural norms all over the place, but I am doing it in the hopes of somehow fulfilling some bigger plan that is set before me. Does this make me better than anyone else who has fulfilled these dreams? No! It just means my story looks a little different than what the familiar storybook ending looks like. So, sorry … I’m not sure that white picket fence will be in the picture for quite some time!

Ouch!
“Whenever we’re led out of normalcy into sacred space, it’s going to feel like suffering. It’s letting go of what we’re used to. That causes suffering. But part of us always has to die. If that readiness isn’t there, we won’t enter into sacred space (179).”

I’m still learning about this and realizing the impact of pain and suffering. However, I’m learning that stubbornness which always seems to be a negative term can actually be a healthy tool that helps you to persevere through trials- through suffering. In turn it helps us to understand something about God that we didn’t before.

Huh?
“The final stage of the wisdom of faith is what we might call becoming the Holy Fool. Ironically the Holy Fool is one who knows he doesn’t know but doesn’t need to either. Paradoxically, that’s the liberating kind of knowing we’re talking about. The Holy Fool doesn’t need to know. He obviously would like to know, but she is able to leave the full knowing to God (122)."

Oh man, this is something that sounds wonderful to me. I can honestly say I am not here at this “Holy Fool” place yet. I have a list of questions about a mile long, and if Jesus were to return tomorrow, I’m sure I’d take up all His time just asking questions! It drives me crazy to have so many unanswered questions. The more I dig in, the more questions I have! However, I know that one day this peace and contentment will come. Looking at ones who have known God intimately a lot longer than I have, it is obvious that they possess this “Holy foolishness” in them. I see wisdom, understanding, and simply a deep love for God through the way they live. Do they have all the answers? Nope.

Enough
After asking the same friend that gave me this book many hard questions... He simply replied, “Shantra, I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter.” Ugh! Ahh, that didn’t help. It is not that he didn’t want to help me, but it is simply that he is at this place in his journey, where knowing Him is enough. He has already asked these tough questions. He has already struggled through them.
I know someday, I’ll be answering some inquisitive girl with a list of questions, the same. But until then, I’ll just continue adding to my list of questions, and continue journeying down the unpredictable road. Because after all, God Is, and that is enough!