Shan's Story

What Have I Learned?

2010-06-04T08:50:00.000-07:00

Well, it is now a year and a half after I walked into my first class in Jerusalem Israel. And now, I find myself sitting on yet another plane ride getting ready to embark upon a new adventure. So where have I been and what have I found?

Before traveling to Israel, I found myself consumed with questions about faith, God, religion, spirituality, historicity of the Bible,…. the list goes on really. Many of the questions that I was asking numerous people in western circles (United States mainly) seemed to be easily answered with the phrase, “have faith” …. My questions were so easily answered that this created a problem for me. If God can be that easily accepted and followed with answers like, “have faith” then it seems that anybody could create a god and have unknowns that are only explained with “having faith.”

When you don’t really know what it is that you are having faith in, but you are devoted, then this has the potential to be very dangerous. We have seen this play out in numerous cultic massacres. If I’m putting my trust in something whole heartedly, then I want to know who, what, when, how, and most of all why. And nobody should be scared about where it leads. Thus, my adventure to the “Holy Land” began.

I didn’t care what the truth turned out to be (even if it was drastically different than what I had thought)… I just wanted to know, from an academic standpoint, no “faith” involved. I desired to know how the claims of Christianity stood compared to the methods used in the secular realm. I wasted no time in this endeavor. My time in Israel consisted of hiking the lands of our Patriarchs, examining the cultural lifestyles from the time of Moses to the time when Babylon came and stomped out “Israel” as a nation. I studied in “the field” by going to the places mentioned in the text and by testing it for myself to see if the geography and archaeology matched. Yes, I had to use the testimony of secular and Biblical scholars who did all of the leg work before me, but I was able to pull in various opinions surrounding numerous sites. My travels took me from Egypt to Jordan and throughout Israel, including the West Bank. Many times archaeology and geography meshed nicely with the biblical stories…. sometimes it didn’t.

My pursuit of this knowledge allowed me the freedom to venture down the “forbidden trails” of …. WHAT IF GOD ISN’T WHO WE MAKE HIM OUT TO BE? More boldly stated; What if God is an entity that is completely different than who we say He is. Perhaps God isn’t anything like the being we see in our minds… the being that we have created in our own reality based on our cultural norms and in our times.

The question needs to be asked: What if God is just an explanation, like mythology that explains the unexplainable, but doesn’t really exist?

Here is what I learned. Basically, God DOES exist. There is too much history and too much evidence to deny it (coming from Biblical and Anti-Religious scholars who have discovered facts that cannot be denied).

How people worship God today differs upon the ancestors that set certain traditions and theories in motion, all according to the culture in which they lived. God did reveal himself to people in various ways. How that looked, in my opinion differed depending upon backgrounds, culture, and experience of the people involved. When Jesus spoke on the Sea of Galilee, he used fishing images to connect with the men… something that would have been foreign to people living in Jerusalem, and vise versa.

About 3 miles away from Nazareth (where Jesus grew up) a huge Roman town emerged with theaters, bathhouses, arenas, and all of the glamour of the day. Jesus and his father were both “carpenters,” or techtons. Basically, their trade was working with stones (contrary to popular belief). It is not too far fetched to believe that Jesus could have possibly worked in the city where honoring ones body and accomplishments were much more glamorous than the quiet village life that he would have been used to. Do you think he turned his head and condemned the people for following customs that had been engrained in them? Furthermore, did Jesus associate with these men at all? Did he listen to the theater as events were revealed in new and innovative ways that seemed to scream independence, opposite to the communal familiarity of Jewish life? What did he think of them? How did he treat them?

Oftentimes it is easy for us to think that the Bible is so far removed in time and culture. Therefore, it is really difficult to plan our actions or form truths around what we see written in the Biblical text. In addition to that, do we really need to model what is written if it was written so long ago and passed down through scribes years after the events took place?

I’d like to think that the determination of Paul (a follower of Christ who formerly persecuted Christians before becoming one) and all of the other Apostles stems from something that is real and tangible, even today. I’d like to rest in knowing that the 4,000 years of history that is woven into the tapestry of Israel has somehow been an accurate representation of what God would have wanted revealed about himself to us. Though several questions do exist in my mind today, just as I’m sure they existed for the disciples coming from little towns to Hellenized cities, for Elijah as he ran down that mountain to the Negev, and for Moses who wandered lost in the desert; one truth remains concrete. God is God. In our desire to know him more and in our attempt to uncover the mystery of the essence of God in the words of Ecclesiastes, “It is good that you grasp one thing, and also not let go of the other; for the one who fears God comes forth with both of them.” Eccl. 7:18

One thing at a time… We’ll get it figured out one day so we might as well enjoy the journey while we are able and make the most out of the opportunities that we do have. I came with many questions. I’m leaving with even more.

Happy Palm Sunday!

2010-03-28T11:16:00.001-07:00

Palm Sunday

We made it in to Nablus!!!!!!!!

2010-02-26T08:02:00.000-08:00

Exactly one year ago, we were not able to go into Nablus because of Political unrest... today.... we made it in to look at one of the most incredible Archaeological finds- the well that Abraham built, then was later re-established by Jacob, and was later visited by Jesus who met with the Samaritan woman! They have not found anything else that could match the exact description... so in my mind... I'm saying "this is the real deal!"

To see pics click: Samaria Pics

Benjamin Field Study

2010-02-20T22:33:00.000-08:00

If you would like to look at pictures slowly, you can click on the Benjamin Field Study link or on Shan's pictures on the left hand side of the screen and it will take you to my albums.

Yesterday we went to the region of Benjamin. My favorite site was of Jericho (Old Testament). I liked seeing how Archaeology reveals the city of Jericho was destroyed when the walls around the entire city fell down and the city was burned, exactly as the Biblical account states.

Usually, when armies took over the cities, they would make a hole in the wall and conquer from there... furthermore they would loot whatever was in the city. In this case, Jericho's entire brick wall fell down at the exact same time around the year 1400 BC' ish. In addition to that, wheat and barley were found stored in pottery jars that were burned when the city was burned. Could this be because the Israelites offered up Jericho to God as their first fruits offering??? It was custom to offer something to God at the beginning of harvest season. Normally, all food would have been taken in a war. This does tell us that the time of year is consistent with the Biblical account as well- It was harvest time.

A famous Archaeologist, Kenyon came along and said the dates did not match to the Joshua account- however the sequence does. She, I feel, had an agenda to try and disprove the Bible based off of information that she didn't find instead of looking at what she did find. The old wall was found collapsed in around the entire city, a burn layer was found on top, and no cities existed on top of that city (following the understanding that if anyone built, they would be cursed as it says in Joshua 6).

Kenyon, uncovered the oldest building in the world in Jericho. It is a Neolithic Tower, which makes Jericho the oldest city in the world dating back to at least 9500 BC.

Back from Break

2010-01-30T23:50:00.000-08:00

Being back home for the holidays was great! I am always so much more thankful for the freedoms that we have in America when I travel from other places who don't quite have the same thing. It was good to be home!

Egypt!

2009-12-28T07:31:00.000-08:00

Click on the picture below to see!

Egypt Dec 2009

Finals Began

2009-12-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

This weekend my Regional Explorations class, made up of 9 Graduate students including myself, ventured up to the region of the Galilee to give our final Presentations. Each one of us was assigned a different region, road, or ridge. I conquered Jokneam Pass while others tackled Nazareth Ridge, Dothan Pass, Shimron Pass, Acco Plain, Megiddo Pass, Harod Pass, Kishon Pass, and Tabor Pass. We needed to research the Ins and Outs of our particular region... why was it named the way it was? What is the Hebrew, Canaanite, Arabic, and native name of the sight? Who has lived there since it was first established? Who fought for it and why? What kind of land made up the area? Was it easily conquered? Click on the Picture below to view all pictures:

Jokneam Pass, Kishon Pass, Acco Plain Shimron, Mt. Tabor, Nazareth Ridge

Basically, we became experts on our region and taught our fellow students. We each chose sites to teach on that best represented our region. I chose an overlook... actually it is a hang-gliding spot in Zichron Ya'acov which overlooks the Mediterranean and the Coast, along with the pass itself. For my second location, we ventured to the Tel of Jokneam and climbed to the top to view the Jezreel Valley on the Eastern side, Mt Carmel to the North, The Pass to the Eastern side, and the Coastal Plain which traveled North and South. We had a great time traveling as one big happy family throughout the region! If I could picture what lots of brothers and sisters would be like on vacation... I think this would be close.... we had a great time!

I'm thankful for "bestest buds"

2009-11-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

Ah, so... went to school today and I had a package slip waiting for me! One of my very close friends sent me, yet another package full of goodies wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving! She included Thanksgiving materials to make a good ol' fashion Turkey day meal with my favorite foods AND microwave recipes on how to make them (we don't have an oven). Ah, what a treat! She even remembered that this is my favorite holiday! Mom and I used to spend the entire day cooking and preparing a meal for the family who would gobble it down in just a few minutes... not even close to the time that it took to prepare it!

So all you "Bestest Buds" out there... I just want to say thanks. You make the world a happy place!

Most people work out... apparently, I cry

2009-11-16T04:00:00.000-08:00

So... today I was at the gym riding a stationary bike... when this song came on my new mix...

She walked to the mailbox
On that bright summers day
Found a letter from her son
In a war far away

He spoke of the weather
And good friends that he'd made
Said I'd been thinking 'bout dad
And the life that he had
Thats why I'm here today
And that the end he said
You are what I'm fighting for
It was the first of the letters from war

She started writing
You're good and you're brave
What a father that you'll be someday
make it home
make it safe

She wrote every night as she prayed

Late in December
A day she'll not forget
Oh her tears stained the paper
With every word that she read

It said "I was up on a hill
I was out there alone
When the shots all rang out
And bombs were exploding
And thats when I saw him
He came back for me
And though he was captured
A man set me free
And that man was your son
He asked me to write to you
I told him i would, oh I swore"
It was the last of the letters from war

And she prayed he was living
Kept on believing
And wrote every night just to say

You are good
And you're brave
what a father that you'll be someday
Make it home
Make it safe
Still she kept writing each day

Then two years later
Autumn leaves all around
A car pulled in the driveway
And she fell to the ground
And out stepped a captain
Where her boy used to stand

He said "mom I'm following orders
From all of your letters
And I've come home again",
He ran into hold her
And dropped all his bags on the floor
Holding all of her letters from war

Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home

Yep, as I rode away on the bike that didn't move, tears popped out of my eyes. Ah, what a beautiful song. I really loved the picture of his mom loving him and waiting for him, all the while writing letters. Her love for him is real and you can almost feel it when listening to the song.

It also made me think about all the wars going on in the world... some in Iraq, some between cultures, and some in our cities. People are killing each other for various reasons- some are good reasons, and some don't even have a reason. The picture that is painted here about the young man going off to war to fight in order to protect his family who is awaiting his return just really moved me. He is fighting for protection- this is a good cause. Unfortunately there is a lot of the opposite going on in the world around as well.

Life is short. What I don't like is when people cause war simply because a culture breeds it. It hurts people deeply and causes unnecessary hatred to multiply. I think I'd rather get along with others. Didn't our moms always teach us to play nice with others? What happened?

Hedge or Peg?

2009-11-06T22:40:00.001-08:00

Well, how is life over here in Israel? Busy! Between running to classes and writing numerous papers, there hasn't been much extra play time. My studies have been really good... intense but good. Professors here really challenge you to think for yourself and encourage you to draw conclusions that are well thought out and most importantly, are yours.

I heard an analogy the other day that I liked a lot... I'll share it with you. The topic was "How to approach faith." Straight forward and simple. The two main ways that we talked about were as follows:

One can draw a protective hedge around them as far as beliefs, ethics, laws, and codes surrounding what they believe. This would be a set of facts that you hold to be true. You hold them tightly within your box, or hedge.... for example, in today's evangelical world this plays out in cultural norms that our church society somewhere along the lines decided is right and wrong depending on interpretation of scripture at a particular time.

For me it has looked like drawing conclusions about particular ideas and holding them to be truth. Because of my conclusions, I place them within my hedge. Anytime a topic related to it comes up, I can refer back to my hedge, or box where my conclusions are kept and I can draw a new conclusion based on what is already there. Warning....I'm going to stereotype here.... for us Americans, in the church especially it can look like this: Drink, don't drink, drink a little, swear, don't swear, swear only if you have to, The bible is a nice moral story, The bible is 100% correct in all ways, The bible is a document inspired by God and has been written by man's hand.... all of these are assumptions or conclusions that have been drawn based on some other facts along the way, mostly from our interpretation of scripture. According to whatever conclusions we have drawn, we can place them within our hedge and whenever the topic comes up again, we already have an answer waiting. This is the approach that most people I have met, including myself tend to flock towards.

The other approach is to have 1 or 2 main ultimate truths. Shhh.....Relax, and continue reading.... For example: God is the all powerful God above any other thing. Jesus is his divine son who lived a life that encompassed God's picture for how our lives should look. These are two main truths that I know are absolutely correct. All other conclusions or questions should be checked against those two truths from here on out. These two truths are my funnel; any conclusion drawn needs to align with these two. I can now hammer a peg into the ground with the foundation being these two guiding principals. I then connect a rope to the peg and then to myself... this allows me to wander around pursuing God knowing that if things get too complicated, confusing, crazy... I can just draw myself back to the foundational peg where I am reminded of the truth that I started with. I am always connected to those truths no matter what. This is different than the hedge which I am free to run in, but I am inhibited by seeing over to the other side to see what other people are doing, or what other conclusions are being drawn; basically I'm left void of the freedom to explore.

Option #2 is a bit more free and less culturally driven then running around in a box full of assumptions or conclusions that have already been drawn. This isn't to say that there is no truth. It is simply saying that based off of two foundational truths, other thoughts can be drawn, but those thoughts can be drawn under the clause of there is a little bit of wiggle room. Example: In the bible it says,

1Cor. 11:6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head.

Option 1 point of view- "This passage is only for a particular time. Your wife doesn't need to cover her head, or cut her hair short." Really, if you are drawing a conclusion that this was just for a particular time, then what other passages are just for a particular time and not for us? Furthermore, what authority do you have to make such a statement? You could also choose to say, "Wife, cover your head because the bible says so." It also says to treat your slave well.... does this mean you will go take a slave and treat them well? Probably not.

Option 2 point of view- Based on my two truths of "God is one, and Jesus is his divine son" I can draw many conclusions about this passage. Perhaps it was culturally correct for a woman to cover her head (Women over here still do this by the way). Perhaps it does have a message for us today about the covering of God over his people, like the "covering, or protection that a man gives over his wife and family." Maybe, our conclusion can have multiple answers. As long as they line up with my 2 truths then I am free to wander around looking for all possibilities. I am not confined to one correct answer.

The second option leaves a lot more room for God to work in ways that he is not confined to.... like a box or hedge. God can act in his divine nature in any way he chooses... I just think if we are looking for him in ways that only "fit within our box" we could miss Him. With both options there is a risk.... the first one- drawing conclusions that are really not true, or are based off of what someone else has told you. Once you put them in your limited box...your conclusions are drawn and you are stuck with an absolute answer, even if it is wrong. With the second approach, you run a risk of things becoming relative. "Whatever is right for you may not be right for the other person." However, even in early church days, didn't our church fathers draw conclusions about the text that culturally made sense to them? Today, we are still practicing the many rituals or traditions that they came up with. They, in a sense had to draw conclusions... I wonder if they exercised the tent peg technique or the hedge with walls?

Wrestling

2009-10-17T05:14:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that I have been wrestling with big questions- all of which can be summed up in one. Who is God, really? I know, I know… we can’t answer that question. Well, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

Questions started piling up when I spent some time in a Romanian orphanage with children who were born into pain and suffering. Babies just lay in their cribs; unwanted, in some cases due to deformity. Other children were abandoned because of disease, in which case, they just lay alone waiting for the disease to take their life. Other children were healthy from birth, but abandoned for other reasons. All these children had one thing in common: nobody was there to touch them, hold them; love them. Why would God create a child so that he can suffer? I reassured myself. God is beyond my understanding.

As life experience snuck in so did my questions… it became more of a dialogue ... I’d ask God why…I’d wait… then I’d wait some more until I would hear something or be ok with silence… either way, it sustained me until the next big question came.

Just a couple of weeks prior to visiting Turkey three Christian missionaries had been beheaded for their beliefs. Why? Wouldn’t they be the ones who are useful for God’s kingdom? Again, I was reassured knowing that their deaths would ignite many others.

Then death hit close to home for me…. It started with a couple of friends, then my step dad, and then my mom. This hurt.

2 ½ years ago I lay on the ground literally crying out to God, “Why are you doing this?” I remember the tears streaming down my face as mom lay in her bed next to me as the cancer overtook her. She was in so much pain. All I could hear was her groaning and trying to get comfortable in the night. Her breathing sounded like gurgling as liquid filled her lungs. This woman who loved helping people is now being punished. What was the point of all this suffering?

After she died, I as ok for a while… but then anger set in… again, God is bigger than my own understanding. I rested on scripture as I tried to get through the days that followed. It helped.

Luke 11:9 And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. John 14:13 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

Why does the bible say pray believing that what you are praying for will actually happen? Does it really happen? Not always. I have prayed for people I care about to come to know him in real and intimate ways…some have died before this happened. Why? How were these selfish prayers? I truly believed that He would restore these people who I’d been praying for, simply because His word said so. They weren’t flippant prayers either- fasting, meditating on his word, and waiting to see how he would bring these people to them. When it didn’t occur, I was left with… “But you said.”

Friends comforted me with, “You never know what happened right before they died.” If I agree with what most Christians say the afterlife is, I would be realizing that the 1000’s of prayers I said for these people to know God was trumped by them going and suffering in Hell instead, again, according to modern evangelical belief. I chalked that one up to, perhaps I don’t understand scripture, maybe I didn’t have enough faith, or perhaps some sort of reconciliation did happen.

Then I came here, to Israel. People are ready to die for what they believe in: Muslims, Jews, and Christians. I would say for a long time, I was clumped into that group; honoring God whatever the cost, even if it meant losing my life.

When you come to a place where the “heaviness” around you is masked by hate, war crimes, and shame it wears on you…. It also makes you think…

So, it sounds like I’m just asking “Why” over and over…and in a sense I am… but if I wanted answers to any of these, all I would have to do is go to the local Christian bookstore and buy the “When God doesn’t make sense” or “Why?” books. I can do that. My bigger questions are in the actual text itself.

You see, what allowed me to reconcile all of those bigger questions above was because what I knew in the bible was true and I knew I could rely on God no matter what, because of what He says.

Well, fast forward to the present. I have been studying subjects like geography and the history of the bible. These studies don’t occur without running into some roadblocks that produce more questions.

Currently we are identifying some of the holes that exist in how the bible came to be, in our modern way of thinking. In my last class we discussed how Jews explain the origin of the Old Testament. Major questions exist such as, “If the writer of Kings was writing over a 400 year period about information that was true for both the south and the north how did he get this information? If he used other sources, who wrote them? If the writings in Genesis were attributed to Moses, why does it talk about Moses’ death? Why are cities mentioned that didn’t exist until later? Were they corrections that the scribes made so we would know the locations? There are several hypotheses for all of these questions. Actually, the argument for why the Bible is in reality divine is strengthened by some of the conclusions in trying to prove why it isn’t… that is for another day.

We are putting the bible under the microscope and seeing its validity as a historical document. Is this fair to do? There is wisdom literature and prophecy, in addition to historical data in there. If we were to use it simply as a historical document without bringing faith into it, how does it stand? Do the unexplainable events that occur in the bible occur in other writings of the Ancient period?

This has kept my mind racing.

In a nutshell what I’m saying here is that the journey of trying to understand who God is is a process. The more we learn, the more we realize that there is so much more to the picture. Having faith is a good thing. More importantly, knowing what you have faith in is the key.

Yes, I have a lot of questions. I hope I will always have a lot of questions.

Having just enough faith during the times of the events mentioned above was just enough to get me to the next milestone. This doesn’t sustain me now. I want to go deeper. I strongly desire for the foundation for what I believe in to be something that did not come with ease. It actually shouldn’t come without careful examination. One could put faith in anything. I desire to test it, examine it, and make sure it is true. This shouldn’t be scary to anyone. If God is who He says He is, then there is nothing to worry about.

People say over and over, “Have faith.” Yes, exactly! Knowing what you have faith in makes all the difference in the world. At Easter I heard a sermon challenging people to put their faith in Jesus. What the Pastor failed to do was to tell us who Jesus was and why you would want to put your faith in him. I feel that this is a common problem with the church today. We are quick to say, “Have faith.” But, what is it exactly that we are having faith in?

Questions are good. Do not be threatened by them. If the God that we know is as powerful as everyone who has “faith” says he is, then He will reveal answers to us that will be sustaining. Life is going to get rocky. When we desire something/ someone to lean on… I’d rather be confident that what I’m leaning on is real and true, if it isn’t, then it will be easy to crumble along with whatever ideology went with it.

Incredible conversation leads to more questions

2009-10-05T12:06:00.001-07:00

After class today, my friend Ada and I stayed and asked our Professor some questions... and like a good Rabbinic teacher, he challenged us with more questions... here are just some of the questions that were discussed:

1. Question- Is it possible that Abraham could have had an entirely different picture of who God was than that of the Hebrews which came later? Furthermore, is it possible that he worshiped a different idea of God than the one that we have today of God?

Answer- Yes, it is highly probable even. Where would Abraham have received any knowledge of the God that we know of after the Mt. Sinai incident?

2. Question- Is it possible that Moses worshipped a different God, than the God of the Hebrews?

Answer- The question should be, if he did have a different understanding of God, when did it change?

3. Question- If Moses knew the Hebrew God at Mt. Sinai (after he received the 2 tablets) then did he know Him at the burning bush?

Answer- Why would God have to appear to him at the burning bush if he already knew him?

4. Question- Moses was raised in an Egyptian home under the Pharaoh. Did he worship the several gods that they worshipped? If not, how would he know not too? At this time, there was no bible. Is it possible that some sort of oral tradition existed from the time of Abraham? But if Abraham didn't know the full revelation of God, including the creation story what would have been passed down to Moses through oral tradition?

Answer- How do you know that Moses was not raised with two cultures (one from his birth mother who was breast feeding him to an unknown age, and one from Egypt). How long was his biological mom or family with Moses? What did they teach him? Did he have an academic Egyptian upbringing and another "home life" upbringing? What did that consist of?

5. Question- If God did reveal the "real story" to Moses on Mt. Sinai what made the people who were ALL used to worshiping several gods and different creation stories not think Moses was a complete lunatic? Why didn't they think he was crazy?

Answer- Why didn't Moses' story just fizzle out because it was so different than what the people were used to?

Tidbits on Ancient Israel and the Early Bronze Age

2009-09-28T02:53:00.000-07:00

Below I have pasted bits and pieces from a research paper I wrote on the Early Bronze Age and Israel. This is a time where there is so much that remains a mystery. Below I have attempted to piece together evidence from archeology and scholars to try and put together a time line of Israel and its early inhabitants. Early Bronze Age: 3300-2200 BC (Before the time of Abraham).

Egypt in the Early Bronze Age

Already by 3300 BC Egyptians had learned the art of writing from the Sumerians. The Egyptians adapted the Sumerian writing to their own culture and began writing with papyrus and ink. We have numerous inscriptions that reveal what life was like for the Egyptians; unfortunately, it does not mention ancient Mesopotamia. We also have stories from Manetho, an Egyptian priest who wrote down the basics of Egyptian history, including people, places, and customs. Though his work has been debated, various modern scholars have used his work to match up inscriptions leaving us with a rough estimate of Egyptian rulers and their times. Manetho tells us that once the Egyptian monarchy was established, Egypt went through 30 dynasties until around 2200 BC, the close of the Early Bronze Age. Understanding the life of the Egyptians is crucial because it gives us a glimpse into the very lives of those living close by who would have been influenced by the Egyptians.

Palestine in the Early Bronze Age

Settlements & Cultural Advancement

Around 3000 BC many abandoned villages that had previously existed in the regions of the land we will call “Palestine” during the Chalcolithic period had started to develop again. In fact, about 25 places around the country seemed to go up overnight. The towns were located on major routes, which allowed for local trade networks to be established. This was very important, especially in the trade and influence from Egypt. The towns were comprised of small houses that were usually surrounded by walls. The walls were built of rough stones or with unbaked mud brick, which varied in design and strength.

In Arad, walls were built with semicircular strongholds separated by a fixed distance. Semicircular towers, along with square towers were used to line walls at Jericho as well. By the end of the Early Bronze period some settlements were surrounded by double or triple lines of walls, making enemy attacks more difficult.[1] It is evident that the towns were thought out in advance and built accordingly. Remains at Arad and at Ai reveal that large artificial reservoirs were used to conserve water. At Megiddo and Tel-Farah the houses were arranged in blocks separated by narrow lanes, which suggested that builders followed a grid arrangement.[2]

Copper was the metal used in the Early Bronze Age, despite the name. The few tools and weapons that have been found were made from open moulds, though there is not a lot to suggest that the methods from the Chalcolithic period had been phased out. Pottery finds and a well-preserved Early Bronze kiln found at Tel Far’ah reveal the technological progress of this time period. Compared with earlier pottery, the use of the wheel and firing allowed for the clay to be prepared more carefully.[3]

Though their neighbors were advancing in writing and language, the lack of written archaeological evidence would suggest that the inhabitants of this land lacked the art of writing during this time. However, according to Gabi Barkay, a well known archeologist in Israel, there was writing during this time, but just on materials that did not last.

Political situation

“The number of times the fortifications of Jericho, Tel-Far’ah and Ai, were repaired and strengthened suggests that this was not a peaceful period.”[5] Inter-town rivalry could have contributed to the abandonment of many towns at the end of this period. In fact, Egyptian records reveal that there was military intervention that occurred from the country.[6]

However, it would appear that most Early Bronze towns, like Arad and Tel Far’ah were abandoned peacefully. What are the reasons? There are various indications that an established relationship between the inhabitants of “Palestine” and the Egyptians existed. In fact, at Arad, a symbol of the King of Egypt was found dating to about 3000 BC proving that some sort of trade interaction existed between the two regions. Pottery vessels made in Israel were also found in Egypt. If there was a large Egyptian trade decline, this could have caused the towns to be abandoned due to a severe economic decline. Unfortunately, we do not have a definite reason for this abandonment. Other artifacts continue to prove that some sort of interaction existed between the people living in Egypt and in “Palestine.” In Abados, a monumental palette of Narmer was identified revealing Narmer in Canaanite dress. At the bottom of the palette “sand dwellers,” stood in defensive poses.[7] A walled city is also seen on the bottom right side illustrating the current city structure of the people living in “Canaan”. Lastly, a desert kite can be depicted on the palette. These were hunting structures that were specific to Southern Israel. The only way the Egyptians would have known what they looked like was for them to actually be in contact with the people living there.

Additional Events within Ancient Texts

A commander of the army during the reign of Pharaoh Pepy I in 2300 BC took an expedition to the land of the “Antelope-nose,” otherwise known as Carmel. He writes, “I made a landing at the rear of the heights of the mountain range on the north of the land of the Sand-Dwellers. While a full half of this army was on the road, I arrived, I caught them all, and every backslider among them was slain.”[8] He describes the land as an area with 20-25 big cities. He also reveals that the language, along with the identity of the people is unknown.[9] Soon after the condition of these cities began to change. Some became bigger with large fortification walls while many became neglected or destroyed, leaving settlements abandoned and desolate. Perhaps with further excavations the mystery of those living in this land during the Early Bronze age will be uncovered.

[1] James B. Prichard, ed., The Times Atlas of the Bible, ed. James B. Prichard (New Jersey: Crescent Books, 1996).

[2] Ibid, 28.

[3] Ibid.

[4] Dr. Yigal Levine, "Class Notes 9/07/09."

[5] Prichard, The Times Atlas of the Bible.

[6] Ibid, 29.

[7] Dr. Yigal Levine, "Class Notes 9/07/09."

[8] James B. Pritchard, ed., Ancient Near Eastern Texts, ed. James B. Pritchard (New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 1955).

[9] Ibid.

Hiking

2009-09-26T10:55:00.001-07:00

Our school went hiking today to celebrate the New Year! We hiked up in the Golan and found ourselves at the base of a waterfall! It was amazing! To see more pictures click: Hiking Pics

Visitors from Slovakia

2009-09-22T05:07:00.000-07:00

Dobrý deň, vitajte do Jeruzalema, Maria a rodinu!

(Hello, welcome to Jerusalem Maria and family!)

Yesterday I received a phone call at 6:30 am, "Shantra, you know wall of cry?"

I sleepily made the connection, "Yes..."

"We are on our way there now, can you meet us?"

I rolled out of bed and began the trek to the wall.

The phone call came from a previous Slovak student of mine named Maria. It had been 3 years since I had seen both her and her family! When I lived in Slovakia teaching 5th-9th grade Conversational English, Maria's family welcomed me in. They poured out wonderful Slovak hospitality while I was there and they even taught me how to make one of the finest Slovak foods- Langosh!

Our reunion at the Western/ Wailing wall was wonderful! We walked arm in arm around the plaza catching up on life. I just could not wipe the smile off of my face. It sure was good to meet up with them again. A couple of weeks ago some friends from England stopped by while on a cruise through the Mediterranean! I hadn't seen Scottie and Andrea since Colorado! Oh, being around the "sweetness" of friends and those you care about is such a good thing!

Happy New Year

2009-09-20T03:19:00.000-07:00

SHANA TOVA

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Rosh Hashana is one of the Jewish High Holy Days or Days of Awe. It is the Jewish New Year falling in the 7^th month on the Jewish calendar, Tishrei, celebrating the month in which God created the world. In the Days of Awe and during the preceding weeks, Jews are instructed to scrupulously examine their deeds and misdeeds during the previous year. According to Jewish tradition, God also decides who will live and who will die that coming year. "God sits in judgment; before Him are three great books. The first volume contains the names of the good; the second the names of the bad; the third the names of those who are neither very good nor very bad. While He gives judgment immediately on those whose names are found in the first two books, those in the third are given 10 days - until Yom Kippur - to attempt by prayer, repentance, and good deeds to have their names moved to the first book.* The liturgy prayers on that day also attempt to influence God's decision. The shofar (ram's horn) is blown in the synagogue 100 times each of the 2 days of Rosh Hashana to motivate repentance. On the eve of Rosh Hashanajust before the evening meal, everyone dips pieces of apple in honey and eats them; symbolizing the hope that the coming year will be prosperous and sweet."

*from Next Year in Jerusalem by Teddy Kollek with Tom Dowley, pp. 232-234.

Questions surrounding Writing

2009-09-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

While sitting in class last night, my foot began to twitch, my fingers started typing faster than the speed of light and I could hardly sit still. The reason: A discussion surrounding the validity of Ancient Texts. If I, as a God believing human am going to research the beginning of faith (leading to Jesus) then my eyes need to be open to all possibilities that could have contributed to the world/ language/ texts that have helped shape the documents that have contributed to Christianity as we know it today. It is smart and necessary to inspect the origin of important texts and the purpose for which it was written.

Written documents are the backbone for which historians work. However, written Documents are problematic. They are written by people. They are not objective. They are subjective. Any written document that we chose to use must be studied methodically. We cannot just assume that the info is reliable. Where does the document come from? How did we get it? Was it an inscription found in the earth? Was it found in the earth? What was it used for? Was it a monumental inscription? Temple wall? What was the time and purpose? What language was it written in?

We are not native speakers of the languages of these inscriptions/ documents… we have put together what we think they mean… a lot of inscriptions have been misinterpreted, or misread… even if the errors are fixed… research can still be done on the originals… the correct version never catches up. The historian will read it as it was read 50 years ago.

Every spoken language as a lot of subtexts, hidden meanings, hidden references. We don’t know what they are. Even a Native Hebrew speaker today will not understand ALL biblical Hebrew because we can’t know the “insider stuff”... Ex: If you say, "Break a leg" (good luck) or "That's tight" (that's cool)... someone who is ancient won't have a clue as to what that means. When the historians come across something like that, do they use their own interpretation? Do they fill in the blanks with someone Else's thoughts on it? Do they change the wording completely to make sense in their day?

We oftentimes find inscriptions in a fragmented state. We have to reconstruct the text. We make educated guess work. Inscriptions that we have are focused… meaning, they are not all books… the person in the day knew who the inscriptions were about… we don’t . Inscriptions can be more like cell text messages, not diaries. For the person they were meant for, they are understood with ease…for anyone else who enters the equation, the code can seem like a mix of words that don't make sense; they weren’t written for us.

So far, we have only talked about texts that are found by archaeologists in the ground. What about texts that haven’t been found in its original state, but texts that are handed down from generation to generation….there are problems with those as well

1. Problems with copying… "D"odanim vs. "R"odamim…. In Hebrew the Dalet (D) and the Resh (r) look very similar. It is easy to misinterpret one for the other, as we have seen in numerous texts. Also, the scribe or copiest might skip a word or a line.

2. The copiest who didn’t have copy writes in those day could write and embellish and not get caught… he could have added a few words to help it make sense which could have “bauched the meaning”

You still have to ask yourself what kind of text you are looking at: Literary creation, royal inscription, military account, religious account, propaganda… each text has its own literary convention. Each writer will know that there are things to write and not to write. If you don’t know something, you fill in the gaps as well as you can so that your message can come across.

4 basic questions you have to ask when dealing with any text

1. Who wrote it…who is his audience? What is his context?

2. When was it written... was it written by someone who was there? Does he live several generations later which he could have pulled together more sources… or it could be false?

3. why was it written... What is the agenda? What is he trying to do?

4. What are its sources? Where is he getting his material from? Himself or from a friend of a friend?

So why am I writing this? Is Shantra questioning the bible now too? I'm writing because this makes me excited.

We have been finding texts starting with the Sumerians in 3300 BC. The first Hebrew bible (Torah, first five books of the bible) was not constructed until much later. It doesn't mean that stories were not being told orally though. The Egyptians had writing before the people in Canaan/ Israel. What does this mean? Furthermore- they had stories to explain creation, flooding, and in some cases one Deity... not too far away from the stories found in the bible. What does this mean? Did one culture borrow from the other? Did one culture start the tradition and another culture play off of it (like the telephone game)? Do all cultures have the exact same story, but explain it differently to make sense to them according to their culture? What if there is an early text in Israel and it just hasn't been found yet? Last but not least, of the texts that have been found, how correct are they? From what perspective were they written? What was the purpose? Was it to give a historical account of dates, places, and times? Was the text's purpose to tell a moral story? Was the text written in code so that someone had to look deeply to find the true meaning?

As you can see, there are so many questions surrounding our history... this is just a tiny sliver pertaining to the writings in the Ancient Middle East. There are so many more questions to be asked. I asked my Jewish professor, if any of these Sumerian or Egyptian stories that seem to parallel the Hebrew bible stories ever create angst inside of him. To me it creates a sense of "Oh crap, what does this mean?" ... coupled with excitement for what I might find around the corner. He answered, "No, no- not at all it all fits together perfectly."

I know in the upcoming weeks we will be diving into more of the details surrounding the similar stories between belief systems, especially with Egypt. Ahhh... yes! When talking with Jess on the phone last night I was telling him about all of the nuances and connections that we are learning about. He replied, "It looks like you are finally finding out some of the answers that you came to Israel in search of."

I can't wait.

Differences

2009-08-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

When you get used to living somewhere the differences that seemed so obvious when you began tend to blend in with life as you get adjusted... quickly the differences become the norm... I'm still waiting for that to happen... but enjoying the "journey" along the way.

Tacoma and Jerusalem- Are they really that different?

1. When you want to buy groceries in Jerusalem and don't want to sell yourself in order to pay for them... you walk 2 miles to the outdoor market. You can buy meat, bread, veggies, toilet paper, shoes, radios... it is a one stop shop!

2. When people living in Jerusalem throw their hands up with some sort of orderly motion, relax... they are praying- not throwing gang signs.

3. Toilet paper? What toilet paper? If you do have some, it only goes in the waste basket NOT the toilet.

4. In Jerusalem, if you need to cross the street do NOT wait for the cars to stop... even if you are in a cross walk. You will wait all day. You jump in front of those cars and walk proudly (they will stop).

5. Jeans under skirts, sweatshirts under tank tops= one outfit. I love this!

6. In Jerusalem you are considered an outcast if you don't worship a God... a little different than home.

7. Only in Jerusalem can you tell a shop keeper that what he sells is way too expensive for the cheaply made item... then walk away with a better quality product that you got for the same price as the cheap trinket...after all "for you there was a special price"

8. When leaving the country security inspects EVERYTHING in your checked luggage as well as carry on. Nothing like having your undies on display at the airport!

9. Tourists are everywhere... if you don't believe me look for the colored hats- they are all hot pink and matching.

10. You can eat falaffel for days and move on to Shwarma... then hummous... then pita... then... oh the list goes on and on.

2012

2009-08-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

So... apparently the world is ending in 3 years. I may be the only one on the planet that is intrigued by this thought... but judging by the results on google when I type in "2012 Maya," thousands of hits come up. Dialogue on this has been going on for a while. There is a quite convincing argument for why human existence as we know it will change in December of 2012. I'm just beginning the search for credibility on the Mayan calendar which has "predicted" other major events.

I find this incredibly fascinating. If any of you have done research on the topic, I'd love to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, I guess just rack up the credit card bills, buy big houses, and take grand vacations... only make sure you put off the payments until 2012. You will either be a really happy camper when the time comes (knowing you lived life to the fullest before the black hole sucked you in)... or for 3 years you had the time of your life... and you will be paying for it for the many years to come.

Whatever happened to "not knowing the time or the place"? I think I like that better.

Cultural Differences or Cultural Blunders

2009-07-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

So, it dawned on me today just how confusing being a girl over here can be.

Depending on whom you happen to be with at the moment can depict what your status is here and how others treat you. I was hit with an ugly moment today when a Jewish boy tripped over a wire and fell directly in front of me. It was only he and I in the park and he was grabbing his ankle asking for me to help him up. His face led on that he was in pain. I just stood there frozen. What do I do? Back home- no problems… help the boy up and be on your way…Here- it is not so clear. I have heard of this before… people “acting” hurt or like they need your help but really they just want your wallet or something more…

Surely, this couldn’t be a trap. I looked around and nobody else was there (one of the qualifications for when this can occur). It could be a trick. So, on an impulse I told him to wait and I ran back up the road and found another Jewish male (the kipa...a head covering... is a dead give away) and asked him to help out this poor boy who appeared to be in excruciating pain.

On my way back home, I thought to myself when did I become so cynical or skeptical? Yuck! Then I thought back to only a few weeks ago when I called on an apartment. The man, with whom I thought was the owner agreed to show us around. Only after signing a lease did he demand a “broker fee” of an enormous amount for his services. He has harassed us ever since.

Then there is the opposite…I met a very nice young man at the gym the other day that unknowingly walked me half way home. He was very respectful and just his presence solidified my safety in walking home at dusk. Little did he know that just hours prior, I was followed and I had to dodge wine bottles being chucked at my head.

I tell you… the more time I spend here, the more I am aware of the uncertainties and the trials that some women face in cultures such as these. I do love being here… don’t get me wrong… but sometimes it can be a challenge.

Some of the other Graduate ladies and I stood on top of a roof in the Old City overlooking the rooftops

Hebrew Classes

2009-07-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

So... I am studying Hebrew at a Kibbutz here in Israel and this week we went on our first field study! This picture above is of a few of the students and I climbing Mt. Arbel...

We left at 4:45 am just in time to hike during the sunrise... it was beautiful! Above: Kristina, from New Zealand (she is a volunteer at the place we stayed) & Emily (Grad student at JUC)

Here we are half way up the Mountain... taking a breath... or two... or...three or four...

We made it to the top... Emily is overlooking the sea of Galilee...

Bus

2009-07-03T11:12:00.001-07:00

Ah! After a long plane ride, many granola bars, moving twice, and finally the beginning of my Hebrew classes I am now starting to settle back in. It feels good to be back. I do miss the simple things- soft bed, car, drinking water, and of course friends and family.

...but it all seems so miniscule in comparison to what I'm about to share.

It all began with a late bus and two Hebrew students trying to make it back to Jerusalem.

Yesterday, "Mo," a friend from my Hebrew class, and I were waiting for a bus back into Jerusalem when we realized it wasn't coming for a while... so I asked him about "his story." Who are you? What are you doing here?

The man, not much older than myself was born in Sudan. As many of you know, there have been violent hate crimes and ongoing wars that began a while ago. Mo was not very old when both parents died and he, as a 10 year old, became the father figure for his siblings. The extremists from the North raided his village and killed many that he loved barging in several times throughout the course of his time there. Each time they would kill men, women, babies, pregnant women, dogs... anything living- they killed. Over the course of the next few years, not only was his sister raped and left alone to raise a child 9 months later, but Mo was pursued several times as well. If caught, death awaited him.

At this point in the story, he rolled up his sleeves to reveal dark scars from where the soldiers had attacked him, but he escaped with his life.

As his journey continued, he fled to a nearby country where the government did not welcome him. The local government partnered up with the Sudan government and therefore began shooting Sudanese refugees randomly. He escaped with his wife.

Fast-forward 2 years. I walk into Hebrew class for the first time and a joyful young man with a smile across his face introduces himself. "I'm Mo." Over the course of some time, we decide to study together after class, as he has a knack for languages, especially Arabic. We share small chit- chat as he tells me about his wife and son with whom he is separated from. This being our second time studying outside of school, we decide enough is enough and it is time to head back to Jerusalem. We ventured to the bus with our minds full of Hebrew pronouns and verbs. We waited.

The 4:20 pm bus never came so we sat and waited some more. "So what is your story Mo?" As we waited, his story began to unravel before me. Two hours later when the bus did actually come, I didn't want to get on, desiring to hear more. The power in this man's voice and the compassion for his people that have been murdered moved me greatly. He spoke, as not one reciting a "speech" for the 50th time, but as one who cared about what he has seen and who is determined to conquer the hate over there.

As the bus drew near the station I asked him, "How could you not become angry and full of hate.” He answered, "If I were to become angry and determined to get revenge, I would be no better than those who have killed."

As the bus stopped and the doors opened I followed him back into the world of bustling people rushing to the market. The cars honking and the familiar foreign languages filled my ears again. Everything seemed so small.

Mo's story just placed everything back into perspective for me.

Next time you are sitting on a bench waiting for the bus and it never comes, don't get angry... sometimes something far better than what we expect will greet us instead.

2 Weeks to Go!

2009-05-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

So, we went on a field study last weekend to some caves in Israel. My friend Julia and I saw a great area in the cave where the light was shining through, so we went and stood in the light! Our friend Brad snapped a picture, and this is how it turned out! Amazing isn't it?

Ah, so in between cramming for those finals I have been reflecting on the last 3 1/2 months. My time here has been very good. In just this short amount of time I have been challenged to the core. When I arrived, I came with many questions about God. Who is He in the Eastern world? What was going on with the culture during the time that the original Hebrew bible was written? How much of it was handed down verbally? I was hoping to find some sort of path that might lead me to answers. Since arriving those questions have quadrupled. But this has been a good thing.

The more I read, the more I have questions. It seems that every avenue I travel down, there is always a side street to venture down which leads to another secret side street, which leads to another, and another. From time to time, I hit a pot of gold, otherwise known as an answer to a question and then I continue on the journey as before.

Ok, I know my "nerdy-ness" is going to show now... but it is true- I love learning. I feel like a CIA agent or the guy from Indiana Jones... life is a treasure hunt or a mystery (depending on how you look at it). Each clue leads to another. Sometimes you unknowingly pursue a rabbit trail and sometimes you find the treasure. I am looking forward to continuing this adventure for the next 1 1/2 years.

FYI- I'll be home for a month and then back to Jerusalem again at the end of June for Hebrew training! See you soon! Shalom!

3rd Roommate

2009-04-20T13:47:00.001-07:00

Yep... this was in my room today... I about had a heart attack! Nothing like a tarantula living with you! It was too big to squash so I had a boy do it instead! Its legs went flying... so gross!

Jordan

2009-04-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

We went to Petra!

We walked through the deep valleys within Petra

Jordan pictures: click on the slide show on the left hand side! Yes, I know... I'm becoming updated with this whole blog thingy!

Easter 2009 In Jerusalem

2009-04-14T00:35:00.000-07:00

Easter 2009

You can click on the above picture and it will take you to my Easter pics... Easter this year was... interesting...

Saturday night: It started off on Saturday night with a procession throughout the old city with flags, drums, bagpipes... swords...yes, it was interesting... the procession went throughout the city with the words in Arabic "We will follow the Christ and nobody will stop us" (translated for us by an onlooker)...

Sunday morning: We woke up early and went to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre about 6:30 am (the place where most people say Jesus was burried and rose) and we were able to see them setting up for their numerous services for the day. Then we went to the Garden tomb, another place where the Protestants say he was burried, though it is highly unlikely due to the date of the tomb. From there, we went back to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and saw the crowded different Christian sects entering the church (I have a photo from above that shows the Coptic Church procession with the Orthodox service). From there, we went to the Western wall where the Priestly blessing was taking place for the Jewish priests (you can see them with their prayer shawls on). At 9:30 am I went to an Anglican church service... this was my favorite by the way... it was very different than what I am used to, but the preacher man gave a good message that stuck to the text. Last but not least, I ventured one more time to the church of the Holy Sepulchre where people were pushing and shoving their way into this church... I saw an old lady get pushed over so that another person could enter first. One person was arrested.

Eventually I ventured back to the "palace" (my name for the campus that we live in) and went to the rooftop where I could read, play music and sit in peaceful stillness. We finished Easter with a BBQ and a little volleyball. I hope you all had a great Easter.

More Pictures...

2009-04-11T00:28:00.000-07:00

Ascent on the Mt. of Olives... there was a huge "March" from Bethpage to Jerusalem on Sunday, the day that Jesus would have walked into Jerusalem himself. I joined up with a crew from Jordan who beat the drums, strummed the guitar and sang in other languages... I joined in with them and sang... not sure what the words were, but it was a blast!

Just click on the pictures below to view the entire album!

Mt. of Olives Ascent of Jesus 4.5.09

Hyrcania and Cypros were two of my favorite places because we were able to wander on the desert for a while... I went with a few others part way down an old tunnel that had been dug into the side of a mountain... looking for treasure that has not been found... not yet anyways!

Hyrcania, Cypros, St. George Monestary

Once again, I love the desert!

Negev

Shiloh is where the Ark of the Covenant was before the Philistines "hi-jacked" it

Samaria Field Study

Enjoyed this one too!

Benjamin Field Study

This is around where I live near the city wall

Jerusalem city walk

Enjoy!

Triclinium dining at JUC

2009-04-10T23:49:00.001-07:00

Passover Meal

So... at JUC our Cultural Backgrounds class put on a Passover meal that was to resemble the "Sader meal" or Passover meal/ perhaps something along the lines of the Last Supper. We wore Toga type outfits...some a little more... some a little less, as you can see!

So... this was our table... we dined... hopefully similar to how it would have been back then ...reclining on our left arm and eating from a shared dish with our right hand

So... we ate... made a mess...don't worry... not all JUC meals are like this...needless to say... we bonded!

There was music, sharing food, listening to stories... ah, it was good... and so comfortable in our 1st century wear! I could get used to dining like this! Those guys had something going back then!

To view more pictures, click on the picture:

From Triclinium dining at JUC Passover Meal

Passover lamb

2009-04-10T13:05:00.001-07:00

We went to the Samaritan Passover where they slaughtered a bunch of sheep... it was interesting... If you click on the picture above, you can see more... but please know it is pretty gross and not good for children...

Amman, Jordan

2009-04-05T13:26:00.000-07:00

So… I’ll explain my time here in a parable… yep, it is that time of month where we celebrate Jesus and his triumphal entry… so why not… Here goes… true story…

Yesterday, my friend Julia and I decided to head to Amman Jordan to meet up with another dear friend. We left after class realizing that we were leaving at a very important time and day (Shabbat for the Jews) and Prayer at the Mosque (for the Muslims). After asking numerous Arab taxi “Sharoot” drivers, we realized we needed to find different transportation. The Husein border which leads to Amman, Jordan from Jericho (Palestine territory) had shut down the border on top of that. So…we needed to cross on the Israeli side if we were going to get to Jordan… Julia and I booked it from Eastern Jerusalem to Western where the bus station was… we needed to get there before Shabbat actually started because everything shuts down… including modes of transportation! We made it just in time to hop a bus to Bait Shean, a northern city near the border (2 ½ hours away). After enjoying a nice bus ride to the North, we were dropped off in the middle of nowhere… all shops were closed and no cars were on the roads… it was officially Shabbat. So… we did anything that two girls would do in traveling in the Middle East… we started walking to where we thought the border might be! We didn’t have to walk long, a taxi came up and we jumped in “To Jordan” we said!

We arrived, paid our exit fees, bought a Jordanian visa, and hopped on yet, another bus… that only took us literally, across the border. Once crossing we walked to a group of taxi drivers who were chatting away and in our best Arabic asked to go to Amman, we were off with “Fadi” our taxi driver. The ride was beautiful. The car slowly climbed up the hills of Northern Jordan with nothing but hills for miles and miles. We passed a few villages that sat just a little off the weathered roads. The people of the community sat on the dirt admiring their land with tea in hand and a huka in the other… ah, it was so peaceful there. The sun set and left a feathery pink glow in the sky. Our taxi pressed on. Julia and I had a few pitas, a few Dinar (Jordanian money), clothing covering us from neck to toe (as foreigners we are not required to wear head coverings) and the moment to hang on to! Oh, it was amazing. I noticed that my heart was extremely content and at peace with the places with which the broken shacks didn’t at all display the beautiful people that lived in them.

The sun eventually set and the solitude of the mountains were met by the modern day lights shining in the night sky of Amman. We met my friend at what Fadi called, “Starmucks”… yes; we did pamper ourselves with a little American coffee! Did I mention that our communication since we left Jerusalem required Arabic? We had fun, let me tell you! We sat for hours and caught up. It was so good.

The next morning Julia and I walked to a building that held the sign “Turkish Bathhouse” Of course we had to explore! It would appear that we had walked into a palace only fit for royalty- but today, we translated, “it was for us!” There were high domed ceilings and pillows on the low benches. We continued in. The lights were dim and we did not mind escaping into the thickness of the Middle Eastern culture. We did not know we’d be in for another adventure… all in less than 24 hours.

We were led by hand into a changing room. From there, we were escorted to another large “bath” room with baths, otherwise known as a hot tub. The first stop for us was the sauna. The lady moved the heavy cloth curtain away and we were welcomed by thick steam with Jasmine aroma. The dome above us was dark with the colors of “Allah” over head. The room had just enough light for you to see the outlines of other figures in this hot foggy room of the east. My body has never sat in such intense heat for so long… I thought my skin was starting to singe… thus bringing about the first step in the cleansing process. The second stop was the showers… Yea, for water pressure! We washed away our sweat and toxins then sat in the “tub” communal hot tub, again in the ambiance of the east. Here is my favorite part...

A woman came, tapped my shoulder and I followed her to a slab of marble in the shape of a table. I was scrubbed. I’m convinced that most of my skin still lay on that table today… First was the raw scrub (no soap) then the bubble scrub. We were then drenched with buckets of water and given a massage which was really….um… interesting… it felt good and hurt all at the same time. Two hours later we sat in the comfy room with a plethora of pillows and tea in hand. I felt so clean and so good. The women that had “worked on us” were now covered from head to toe in material. They went from the room where all women were to the public… and back again. It only took 30 seconds, but their modesty was something to commend, especially on this hot day. If there was a chance that a man would be out there, they were covered. Julia and I left feeling so much better than from when we came in.

I tell you all of the details for a reason. Hang with me for the next part and I’ll bring it together in the end.

When mom passed away, 2 years ago tomorrow, I was devastated. It hit me hard. Questions for God multiplied. How can our God let mom suffer in the way He did? It hurt so much to see her, my mom that I love… to see her hurt like this. I can still hear her labored breaths as she took her last. I didn’t understand then and I still don’t. Mom gave so much of her own life so that I, and many other people could live more fully… you realize these things unfortunately sometimes when it is too late to say thank you.

Losing her has caused my heart to hurt so badly. Oh I miss her still. Two years have gone by… things are not the same as they used to be, they never will be- this is just reality. But life still goes on- it has to. It isn’t fair to all the other living people around you if it doesn’t.Whenever you are hit by some sort of crisis, questions come out of it. For me, it was my view of God that needed some inspection. All of a sudden I questioned Him and was brought to the scary recognition of “Maybe God isn’t who I thought He was.”

Hence, my time of questioning and turmoil intensified. When your foundation is rocked, you not only question what lies behind the foundation, but you question why your actions reflect something that you are not so sure about anymore. Not that God doesn’t allow bad things to happen, or suffering to happen… He does. When you believe so whole heartedly in your heart that something is going to happen and for whatever reason, it doesn’t it can be devastating. I prayed for mom’s physical healing a lot, but more importantly I prayed that she would be restored emotionally, mentally, and physically… I prayed for her peace inside.

When I didn’t see those things occur in the way that I thought they should have, believing that God would answer... it threw me for a loop. How could God not want this for her? This is where I got stuck and mad. “Have faith, Shantra” is what I heard echoing back at me from those who just didn’t know how else to answer my questions. I would be able to travel around the world and back if every time I heard those words, I’d received a penny.

Why did God take mom’s life? I have tried to answer this question. It all boils down to, “I don’t know.” I can’t explain why mom is not here any more. I also can’t explain God’s rational. I have tried- believe me… we won’t know.

Here is where it all ties together.

In the Bath house, there were times I thought my skin was coming off.. actually, I think it did. There were times that we were so out of our cultural comfort zone, I almost wanted to walk out the way we came and forget it. But that would not be fun at all. We would miss the complete joy of being able to discover something new. The uncofortableness all benefited us in the end with relaxed bodies and minds and very, very soft skin. The stages of getting there were definitely trying, but so worth it in the end. Do I understand everything that was said or done in the bathhouse? Absolutely not! But I know enough to realize that it was a good thing. I didn’t need to speak the whole Arabic language or I didn’t need to have studied the previous civilization who took baths to understand that this is something that was good and I wanted it. Faith in God is like that too.

No matter how many years we study or how many questions we have for God, we will always have more to study, more to ask, etc. It would be easy to throw in the towel at our first signs of discomfort or confusion, but we would never be able to experience that fullness or goodness that comes along with that hard journey. It is those uncomfortable stretching times, when things don't make a whole lot of sense that grow us and make us stronger... in many cases those times produce change that reflect a deeper understanding of who we are and more importantly, who He is.

Our constant pursuit of Him will never change the fact that He does exist and He is constant and it is NOT defined based on the culture we live in or the times. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, regardless of the quantity of information we have in our brains. He is a good thing. If I were to know Arabic and be familiar with the culture, would I have enjoyed my experiences more in the bathhouse? Yes, because it would be more familiar to me and thus, more enjoyable.I could appreciate it more fully than before. I wouldn’t feel so awkward. However, even with the little bit I knew about it, I could draw some conclusions. I like it and it is a good thing!

I can’t explain to you FULLY who God is. Surprise surprise. If you are honest, you can’t either. None of us can. But what I can tell you is that we know enough for certain. On the most basic level we cannot deny it; He does exist. From studying the layout of the land, archeological evidence, diving into the different belief systems here, and from what the texts (both biblical and non biblical) reveal of ancient times, it is obvious that there was a genuine maker who was worshiped and who revealed himself to the people.

The more I know about God, the deeper I can appreciate Him. As my ambition grows in seeking Him out, the more pleasure I receive in return. There will always be questions. Do you know everything there is to know about your spouse or you’re friends? My guess is no. But it doesn't stop you in the pursuit of discovery.

Now, please know... I certainly do not have it "all together and figured out." I have so many questions it is unbelievable! However, the continued questioning and opportunity for answers are the small things that make our journeys with Him so much more exciting… can we say… like bath time.

Galilee Pictures

2009-04-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

Click on the picture above to view photos from Galilee

Galilee Field Study and more

2009-03-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

Capernaum

In Capernaum, a city located directly on the water you could fish, make and mend nets, prepare fish for salting, create mill stones, guard the tax collectors as a soldier(centurions), be a priest for the synagogue, be a doctor (Luke), and collect taxes. Back then, fishermen had a reputation of being sneaky. If Jesus could redeem a fisherman, then he could redeem anyone. People had to pay taxes for crossing the border and for fishing. The fishermen were always known for trying to cheat the tax collectors so they could get out of paying. Tax collectors were known for cheating as well. I wonder how all of those disciples got along? Peter’s mother in law’s house was here and it is said that Jesus probably stayed here as well when she was sick. It was turned into an octagon church later.

Mt. Carmel (Ps. 29, 1 Kgs, 18)
Mt. Carmel is known for acquiring lots of rain and severe thunder storms. In fact, Baal was worshiped here on this mountain. Fire, rain, lightning were all signs that the people attributed to Baal as the “Thunder God.” So why then, did God show up in those forms when Elijah was proving to 450 prophets of Baal that God was to be worshiped and not Baal? He has them cut up their bull and place it on the wood. Elijah then places his bull on the wood and says he will call on the God who answers by fire. God did and soaked up all the fire. Elijah kills all of the prophets and as soon as he is done, the sky grows black with clouds and heavy rains (1 Kgs 19). Why would God come to the people in the forms that were recognized as Baal? Did Elijah have it wrong? Elijah flees and he hides in a cave. God comes to him in the form again as thunder, earthquake, fire, and at the end, a small voice. He incarnated himself in ways that the people understood. Once Elijah gets it, he is empowered.

um... sort of like me...

On top of Mt. Carmel

for more pictures click here

To view some pics

2009-03-12T02:19:00.000-07:00

Click here

Negev and Dead Sea Field Study

2009-03-10T14:48:00.000-07:00

Bait Shemesh (Judges 13:17, 1:27)
In Judges 13:1 there is a miraculous birth from Manoah of Zorah; his name is Samson (“Shimshon” or “Shemesh”- sun). His birthplace sits up on the ridge across the valley from where we stood.
There was an old Canaanite temple and altar that use to stand in the area. At this time the Danites (People of Samson) were pushed back into the high hill country, but Manoah was actually situated on the ridge above the valley near the high hill country. This was between the Sorek and Aijlon valley, which shows that the town was trying to make a statement.

Timnah was a Philistine town that Samson passed through several time. When Samson goes to get his wife and her Dad says no, Samson ties foxtails together and sets all of the wheat and barley on fire during their harvest season! This forces all in the land to experience famine. Samson leaves Timnah and goes over to the Judah high hill country to ask them to back him up; notice he doesn’t go to Dan! The people of Judah say, “No way, we won’t help the Danites.” In Judges 15 &16 Samson passes through all Philistine territories to get to Gaza (Judges 16). Samson gets a prostitute and then he goes from the heart land of Philistia to the heart land of Judah. He escapes being murdered by leaving early. He takes the city gates to Hebron, which is about 40 miles away. Samson falls in love and this is when it all goes down hill. She (Delilah) comes from the Sorek Valley and she has a history of growing up simple like he did; so she says. However, she is a spy from the Philistines and she finally gets him to reveal what his secret is for why he has his strength. Once his hair is cut, he is captured and taken to go grind grain and mill, which is the work of a donkey or a woman. He is forced to work in the grain field to show that their God Dagon was punishing him. Basically they made fun of him. At Bait Shemesh there is evidence of a fallen down temple where the roof caved in. That is awesome!

Arad “Cul-de-Sac”
Nobody wants to live in Arad! Arad had been an Israelite fort built by Solomon and then later destroyed by Nebekenezer. This early bronze site was rough... they had to live with only 6 inches of rain a year... or ate mud instead of water! The open pitted cistern sustained the people here for 500 years. The Biblical Negev was a place that people wanted because it was always valuable for other people. Even though it is a cul-de-sac and sits on bad soil, this fort was in operation for 500 years! Why? This was a place of trade and was on the trade route to the east. This would have been their base before heading on with their trade route.

The Temple found here at Arad had a lot of similarities with the temple in Jerusalem. You take your shoes off before going in because it is a holy place. Like Jerusalem, we can go into the temple court which was for the people. The Holy of Holies was located in the back of the temple, only for the priests. This came in the form of a broad room. In the Holy of Holies there are two tablets and two stone pillars for incense. In Jerusalem, there is only one pillar. Why the difference? The thought here is that the Israelites worshiped two deities here (one male and one female). The two stones probably represented Yahweh and Ashera. They have found ostraca written to Yahweh and Ashera in Hebrew. This was a Judah fort; however they could have been worshiping Ashera, the fertility god just in case. When Josiah centralized worship in Jerusalem he knocked down the false Gods. At this site, they found knocked down pillars which would suggest that this site was one of the ones that he destroyed.

Masada
Masada has always been a mountain that has never been totally covered by dirt. Basically, you don’t even need to excavate because the foundation is still standing for everything. In 74 ad when the Romans conquered this site after they conquered the temple in Jerusalem, this was the last “light” to go out. When Yadeen excavated here there were three things that were found. The pottery is all from the 1st century so this site has become the “type site” for pottery. The exact same stones were fallen off, but able to be reconstructed. Therefore, Masada became the first location to use a reconstruction black line to show where the original rock had been standing. Masada was the first location to use volunteer excavators from around the world, as opposed to paid locals to excavate the site. This site was built by Herod and is very famous. In fact, even today fighter jets dip their wings when passing Masada. There are also many Bar Mitzvahs and people commissioned up here for the special Israeli army forces.

We can see as we walk around that Herod did build to impress. At the top of the building Herod built a pool- in the middle of the desert! He plastered the insides so that water would not seep out. He also put walls up around the complex so nobody could see in; they could just hear people having a good time and splashing around in water. He got his water from En Gedi which was about one days walk away. He would bring in roman foods and store it for his guests.

When the Romans came to attack, Silva was the Roman general at the time and he set up his camp directly below. He built a siege ramp to overtake the zealots who were living there at the time. In fact, this site is also used to tell us the story of what Roman Siege looked like. Josephus tells the story.

Herod the Great died in 4 BC. His son, Archileaus received Masada and the other desert palaces as an inheritance. In fact, Herod divided his kingdom between his three sons. Archileaus received Masada and the Judean desert. However, he was such a bad ruler that Caesar fired him. Rome tried different methods of ruling but they did not work. The Zealous zealots with Sacari eventually came and ruled up here on Masada. They were known for murdering other Jews who were not as zealous as they were. Men, women, and children would kill to make their point. Eleasar, a zealot led the Zealots up on Masada. After the Romans destroyed the temple in Jerusalem in 70 AD they pressed on towards Masada. They built a siege ramp to conquer the Zealots. They even tried to burn down Masada but a hamseen (desert wind) shifted and ended up burying the Romans instead. When the winds calmed, it was obvious that the Romans were going to overtake them, so Eleazar gathered all of the men in the synagogue and gave them all a very inspirational speech. He told them not to fall into the hands of the Romans (slavery). He also shared that they needed to choose the honorable death and not live as slaves by Roman rule because it would be more honoring to God. So they should choose death before slavery. By this time, they knew that they had already conquered Jerusalem. So, the men went back and told this to their families. They then killed their families. The last ten killed each other and then the last person fell on his own sword. Josephus was able to share this story because he says that there were actually kids and women hiding in some cisterns and they were able to tell the story later on.

There are some interesting points to take into consideration when thinking about this story. Josephus was a general of the Jewish army but was really bad at it. Later on, he becomes a traitor and helps the Romans. Here is the kicker: They never found a mass of body remains up at Masada. But they did find a siege ramp on the other side of the palace which would suggest that the Zealots escaped into the wilderness and fled. There were a couple of body remains in the tower, but only a few. If the Zealots would have fled to the desert, then we would never have found their bodies because the animals would have eaten them. Josephus, remember is telling his accounts to the Romans in order to give accounts about the Jews. Some say that because he was a traitor and a horrible army general, he let his conscious get the best of him, so he wrote the lies trying to redeem the Jews and make amends. He writes of three suicide accounts; Masada, Gamla, and Arbel. He did write all of these accounts 15-20 years after the fact. Was he telling the truth?

Qumran
Some people say that Qumran used to be a fort, but it was probably a religious community. It was destroyed by the Romans in 68 AD. Devough excavated the caves #1-11. When he went through the caves, he took pictures of them, but never put up signs marking the caves. In 1st century BC- 1st century AD the Qumran community existed. There were many water installations which suggest that this was truly a religious community with several mikva-ote and numerous aqueducts supplying the Mikva-ote. Psalms, Deut, and Isaiah were the three texts that were found the most at Qumran. These are the same three texts that are quoted the most in the New Testament as well. Many say that the Essene community lived here. Some of the scrolls revealed that the Essenes were critical of those in Jerusalem, so they wanted to be set apart.

How is class?

2009-02-24T01:40:00.001-08:00

Above: The Wilderness for more pictures of the Benjamin Field study click here

So… it has been almost a month. Each day I am challenged so much. I love it. Each class, paper, article, book presents new material with questions for me. For example, I have been skimming through the “History of the Jews” by Sachar. He is a theologian that does not claim any sort of belief in the God of the Jews. In fact, from his point of view Moses adopted his beliefs in God from his father in law! How interesting!

This morning I had Jewish thought and practice where the Rabbi was explaining the Mishnah (a compilation of explanations from Classic Rabbinical teachings from their oral traditions ( like commentaries). We read a story from the Old Testament that contained the name of Timna, an old testament concubine. Then we read part of the Mishnah that explained the story of Timna. Some rabbis say that she was a part of the royal family who wanted to become Jewish. She was told “No” so the next best thing was to be a concubine for a man in the Jewish practice instead. This got her closer to Judaism! I love all of the interesting thoughts that come up for me. I am definitely wrestling with these details and enjoying the new doors that continue to open.

Funny cultural "no-no's" so far...

1. I have walked into the men's restrooms more times than I can count... don't these places have signs?

2. Took an "Aerobic Dance class" in my street clothes from a Hebrew speaking woman! I just wanted to see what the place looked like on the inside... I didn't think I'd be taking an aerobics class!

3. When a famous Jewish scholar asked where I was from...I said "Seattle"... then when he didn't say anything... I happen to explain to him..."That is in Washington states... in the US"... turns out he lived in California for a while.

Benjamin Field Study

2009-02-24T00:56:00.000-08:00

Wilderness- Benjamin Deut. 1:19, Jer. 2:4, Hosea 2:1-3
Today we stood on the ridge looking into the Wilderness. We could hear birds and the breeze for miles. Reading Psalm 139, one would be able to relate well to it coming from this land. “The wings of the Dawn” refer to the rays of the sun coming out and going over the land. I really like this place. However, if not careful, it could be very dangerous. David spent a lot of time in the desert. We can see this through many of the Psalms that he wrote. The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years. It is here that you can see God is a part of the trinity with people and the land. The three are woven together.
I found the following incredibly interesting: Moses writes Genesis explaining creation and the land. The land was “To-Vu-Va-Vo-Hu”- a Howling wasteland of wilderness. He then writes Deuteronomy to the people and explains how they should live in the land. In Deuteronomy it gives an illustration of being the apple of one’s eye. We could take this to mean a term of endearment, or if you look closely into someone’s eye you can see your reflection. If God were to look into our pupil, we would reflect him. This relates directly back to Genesis when it states that we were made in God’s own image.

Jericho New Testament- Herod’s place Lk. 18-19
Herod built another magnificent palace here at this crossroad, which bring three major highways together (Ascent of Adumim, Way to the Wilderness, and Taibe River Ridge route). This was a place for Herod to go in the winter where it would be warm. We stood directly in the baths that he built with a hot room, cold room, sauna, etc. all of which would be supplied by an aqueduct that would have brought water in from the Dead Sea. It was from here that he was able to control all of the mice of the land and place taxes upon anyone who wanted to pass through. He could then craftily persuade people to Rome. The palace was built with Opus Reticulatim, which were building blocks stacked one on top of the other like bricks. The red plaster that covered over it was called “Fresco.” Ahud Netzer excavated here and found Opus Sigulata (tile) on the floor. There was also a Paris style court, which was also uncovered.

So who would live here? This would be a great place for travelers, tax collectors working for the Roman Government, and beggars. The location allowed Herod to control access to the Eastern frontier, and trade routes. Balsam was made here which produced medicine, vinegar, perfume- all of which Herod controlled. Jesus would have come through here as well and seen Zacchaeus, the tax collector in the tree.

Tel Jericho- Old Testament Jer. 17:5-8
Jericho is referred to as an Oasis. Water comes out of the land below underneath the limestone. This city is known as the oldest city on earth because carbon 14 dating and Pottery date it back to 8,000 BC. Jericho would be a great place for people to live because there is a huge water supply, which allowed for irrigation and crops to grow. It is also a gateway to the High Hill Country. The Dead Sea brought pitch and salt to the people, which would have been helpful for sealing up boats, buckets, and preserving food. By ruling Jericho, one would be able to rule the three routes as well. When Joshua conquered the land he gained options to attack in the hills, water and irrigation, protection, a gateway, and salt.

Katherine Kenyon, who was the first archeologist to excavate with balks and squares, came along after John Garstang had excavated the Tell and claimed that the dates were wrong. She said that he missed it by 1,000 years. She did not find anything from the time of Joshua. She even claims that nobody was up here when Joshua was here (which is interesting because she found tombs up there). She says that since there is no destruction layer, the entire story of Joshua is false. What does one choose to do with that? We could either throw the Joshua story out, like Kenyon. We could question if she was digging in the correct place. Perhaps she did not dig enough of Tell Jericho to see. Kenyon could have dated the coins and/or pottery wrong. Last but not least, maybe the dates in the bible are wrong. Jericho in the text is referred to as a “large city.” Well, back then anything would have seemed as a large city compared to what was previously there. Just because we don’t find something it does not mean that it didn’t exist. In order for this to hold any sort of depth to society, we need to be able to back that thought up.

We should find places that we know were settled due to textual information that is not religiously charged, and is accepted by scholars as a reliable source but has never physically been uncovered and use this as a starting point. The texts of Amarna were documents written from the Egyptian Pharaohs to Canaanite kings that talked about numerous cities including Biblos. It was large and flourishing. However, there have been no findings of this city even though conservatives say that the city existed. An 8,000-year-old tower and walls have been uncovered, but as far as dating them to Joshua- we will have to stay tuned.

Benjamin Plateau 1Kings 15:16
Benjamin has been a place that has been fought over continuously throughout history. It holds the best access north and South through the country. It also has the best connecting highways west and east. The Watershed ridge goes directly through Benjamin. The heart land of Benjamin binds the central hill country together. If you control the ridge route, then you control the route. If one city falls from the Watershed Ridge Route the rest get nervous. Mitzpah, Gibeon, Ramah, and Gibea are cities that define the plateau. It holds the hill country together. There are two main highways going out west to the coast and three main ones going east to Jericho.

Tel Gezer 1 Kings 9:15
The Gezer calendar was discovered here on a piece of limestone written in Canaanite. The Tel is surrounded by a wide green valley (Alijan Valley) that was useful for farmers and water irrigation. This land belonged to the Cats throughout history. The valley empties into Bait Horon Ridge Route. Jerusalem would want to control Gezer because of the broad valley that connects the two main routes and gives people access to the Mediterranean Sea. Gezer was given to Solomon’s wife as a dowry, which united Egypt and Israel.
Standing Stones were also discovered at Tel Gezer, which represented a permanent memorial or covenant. Stones were erected to remember a significant agreement or occasion. It could also be a boundary for where land ends or begins. Standing stones could be a testimony that people left to their God.
Solomon’s gate was also excavated. We were able to see the entrance where people would have gathered to socialize, transfer property, rest, or meet someone.

Computer Woes

2009-02-19T03:15:00.000-08:00

So... my computer decided to bite the dust...lovely right? A friend of mine put it this way... "Perhaps you just needed to experience the Old Testament a little more closely." Grrr.

All that to say...
I'll try to post as much as I can... but as far as loading up pictures... that might be a while. :) Ah, I love computers.

Jerusalem Approaches Field Study

2009-02-17T00:38:00.000-08:00

Mt. Scopus (Mt. of Olives), View of Wilderness, View from Mt. of Olives, Garden of Get Shemen, Promenade, Herodian, Bethlehem

Today I finally began to understand the complexity of the Land here in Jerusalem. Prior to this, I was very confused as to where the Central valley was in comparison to the Eastern hill and Western hill, where the Herodian was, where David’s city ended, and so on. This Valentine's Day some of those puzzle pieces came together.

Mt Scopus (Northern part of Mt. of Olives) Ps 48
As we stood on Mt. Scopus we were able to view the Watershed Ridge. It followed the very top of Israel along the North. There were several tall buildings on this ridge which made the Watershed Ridge easier to identify. On the map, Jerusalem looks like it is directly next to the Watershed Ridge. From where we stood, it appeared as if there was really no boundary separating the Eastern Hill from the ridge.
It shocked me to see that the Mt. of Olives is higher in elevation than from where the former Holy of Holies on the temple Mount would have been located. This raised some questions for me. Wasn’t it supposed to be at the highest part of the city? What happened?
We also learned the “Mt. Siyon,” present day Mt. Hermon can be associated with Mt. Zion. Mt. Siyon is located in the far North and is called a Divine Mountain. I’m sure we will learn more about that later.
The “Ah, ha” moment for me was when we were able to see that God’s palace, the Temple Mount would have been situated in the most vulnerable part of the city, the North. Why would they want the most precious thing in the world to be exposed first to the “Cats” while under siege? It is simple. God would protect his land. “When the kings (Cats) joined forces, when they advanced together, they saw her, and were astounded; they fled in terror. Trembling seized them there, pain like that of a woman in labor. You destroyed them like ships of Tarshish (Big boats) shattered by an east wind.” Psalm 48: 4 When the enemy was approaching from the North, they were scared and ran when they saw the temple. The Text says that God destroyed them with the East wind showing how He protects his dwelling place.

View of Wilderness (Josh. 15)
Next, we ventured over the Mt. of Olives and down the mountain just a bit to where we were able to see Senonian chalk-like rock everywhere. The land was brown and sloped. George Adam Smith gave a detailed description of the Wilderness comparing it to standing on a ship while watching waves roll. From where I stood, I would have to agree. I could see rolling hills of dry brown land. As I looked further east I could envision the Dead Sea situated in the deepest part of the Rift Valley. This lowest place on earth is 1200 meters below sea level, naming this as the lowest point on earth.
The Senonian rocks do not hold water very well, nor does the Rendzina soil allow for good crops. We could see how difficult it might be to build on this land, just from the lack of villages in the area. It is also east of the Watershed Ridge so their rain fall would be significantly less than if we were able to travel to the west of the ridge. If one were to travel from Jerusalem over the ridge by themselves, it would be very dangerous. They would need to know how to protect themselves from robbers, carry enough food and water, and be able to fight off animals.
Anathoth is where the second temple prophet, Jeremiah, the prophet is from. Anathoth is a boarder town into the Wilderness. Life would have been difficult for him in this dry land. However, when he went to Jerusalem with green land, water, and protection, it was paradise.

View from Mt. Olives (2 Sam. 5, 15:23)
I learned today excavation on burial grounds is not permitted. A few years ago, a JUC student sank into some ground directly outside the Golden Gate. He fell onto some old bones, but more importantly he found that there was another wall directly under the current Golden Gate. The next day the grounds were filled in and no excavation occurred!
When Jesus made his “Triumphal entry” back into Jerusalem from the Wilderness, he would have stopped in Bethany, located on the Eastern side of the Mt. of Olives for Shabbat dinner (Friday). This was the home of Mary and Martha who would have had Simon (the Leper) and Lazarus (Jesus raised him from the dead six weeks earlier). This was his last Shabbat meal before his death. Jesus would have stayed in Bethany Friday night because it was Shabbat and he would have been breaking a law if he was to travel/work on Shabbat. On Sunday, the busiest day of the week (especially since Passover was coming on Friday, at the end of the week) he came over the top of the ridge and sees Jerusalem. Lk 19:28 says Jesus wept like David did when coming over the mountain and seeing the city. Jesus probably did Mikveh and then entered by the Southern Steps (not the Golden Gate).
As we fast forward, for Passover, the moon is always full which means that on this Passover (Friday), the moon would have been situated directly over the Mt. of Olives. The Text tells us that Jesus and his disciples would have gone to the Gan Get Shemen (Garden of Gethsemane). Some scholars say that the last supper, where he reclined with his disciples could have been the Passover meal, but probably not. While in the garden, he is captured and then later crucified at the exact time that the sacrificial lamb died. The people at his crucifixion that Friday had to hurry and take the body down before Shabbat started because they probably had to be home for their meals. There was not even enough time to anoint Jesus’ body properly before being placed in the tomb because they could not work on Shabbat which is why Mary came back later. Mary and possibly Martha would have arrived early on Sunday morning, when Shabbat was over to anoint his body. Jesus appears to them for forty days and gives the image in Acts 1:6 that the Holy spirit would appear first to Jerusalem, then to the daughters of Jerusalem meaning all the surround areas and then to the ends of the earth. How amazing!
Another fun fact: Whenever Jesus was in the Wilderness, he always entered in through the east as the Israelites did coming out of captivity.

Herodian (Ps 23)
Herod’s reputation of building great things is displayed in the Herodian. This palace was constructed next to another mountain in which he chopped off the top so that it would be shorter than the Herodian. In a place that is extremely brown and dry, Herod managed to build an aqueduct 40 miles long that carried water from the Springs in Hebron, to Jerusalem, through Bethlehem, and then to the Herodian. He would have used it for his sauna, pool, and other lavish uses. It was easy to see how people might have hated him from all of the extraordinary structures that he ordered people to build. He was a bit insane, eventually killing his children, as he suspected them of eventually killing him to take the thrown.
In the Herodian we could see an old Triclynium which was eventually converted to a Jewish Synagogue. It is one of three oldest synagogues in the world. At the top of the Herodian you can see the Senonian rocks with Rendzina soil all around. The land is known as “Midbar,” a type of arid land where you can have goats and sheep. People can survive off of milk from goats, and bugs (locusts). In fact, this is the land of the Ibex who only drinks water every 2-3 days. The number one cause of death in the Wilderness is drowning during the flash floods.

Bethlehem- Church of the Nativity
Bethlehem is one of the smaller cities in Judah. Jesus was born in a cave when the animals and shepherds would have been out in the fields. The cave was a private area in close proximity to the actual home. In some cases the cave could have even been below the home. It was custom back then and until recently that when a woman was going to give birth to a child, she would go down to the animals' cave and deliver the baby there. The American idea that leads us to feel sorry for Mary and Joseph having to deliver in a barn is incorrect. Today, the cave is covered with the “Church of the Nativity” and various marble slabs, candles, and incense to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Old City Walk- Physical Settings class

2009-02-09T02:52:00.000-08:00

Broad Wall (Avigad’s Wall), Rooftop Overview, City of David, Kenyon’s Jebusite Wall, Entrance to Warren’s Shaft, Gihon Spring, Pool of Siloam, Southern Wall Excavations, Southern Stairs, Pool of Bethesda

I had class today in the "field" and tried to summarize all of my findings. It is a good review for me to type it out... If you just want to skip to the pictures, click: Old City Walk Pictures

Broad Wall pg 122, 146-147 (Isa 22:8-11, Neh 3:8, 2 Kgs 14:13)
We began our journey this morning by walking out Zion’s gate and to the Broad Wall which was discovered by Archaeologist, Avigad. Around 470 BC the Western hill became very densely populated. The Assyrians launched a 300 year event to take over the land. “TP” wiped up the city completely. Those inhabiting Israel fled south to the closest town where they took a refugee status. Later, during Hezekiah’s rule, he strengthened the wall, built a water tunnel, re-organized taxes, and put a wall around the western hill to protect Western Jerusalem. The wall is very large and wide. It may appear that it was built in a hurry because the stones are uncut and they just placed the rock over existing houses. Is. 22:8-11, Neh. 3:8, 2 Kgs 14:13.

City of David (Ps 121:1-8, Ps 125: 1-2, Zeph 1:10, 2 Chron 3:1, 1 Kgs 11:7)
When David took over the city around 1000 BC, it had already been inhabited by others for about 3000 years. Why did he choose a place that was not the highest in elevation? In fact, it is surprisingly nestled and surrounded by hills everywhere. The Western hill is higher than the City of David. During the reign of David, the temple mount would have been a threshing floor- otherwise known as farming land (a place to grow barley and wheat.

To the East of David’s city Mt. of Olives extends down the Kidron Valley (Now in a Muslim area referred to as Sulwan Village). Every place is higher than that of David’s city. Could it have been that he chose this low place because he would have been protected? The most vulnerable spot for him would have been if the enemy came through the North because if they came from any other direction, he would see them coming. Just from standing here on the mountain I can see all of the rooftops clearly as they descend down hill. It would have been easy for Bathsheba to be seen bathing outside. In fact, most things did occur outside, especially when it is hot out. The fact that Bathsheba did bathe, is not so far fetched.
When Solomon built a high place for Chemosh, the idol of Moab on the Mountain which is east of Jerusalem… this would be either the Mt. of Olives or the other Eastern hill. If he did this on Mt. of Olives, this would have been higher than the Temple Mt, which is a huge no, no! I want to learn more about this.

Area of “David’s Palace” (2 Sam 5:9, 1 Chron 15:1, 1 Kgs 9:15, 1 Kgs 7:1-12, Ps 48:12-13)
It was very interesting to hear how the Archeologists are uncovering Byzantine (324 AD-638AD) artifacts. They are continuing to dig- hopefully to uncover some Palace artifacts that date back to the first century.

Hezekiah’s Tunnel (Jer. 11:13, Jer 44:17, 2 Kgs 23:12-14, 2 Sam 5:6-9, 1 Kgs 1:38-40, Isa 7:3, 2 Chron 32:1-5, 2 Chron 32:20, 2 Kgs 20:20, Other tests that are not biblical)
During the Middle Bronze Age (2000-1550 BC) there was a tunnel that acted as a channel for people to walk through in order to get water. They would put a bucket down into the spring, fill up the water and take it back into the city. All of this occurred before David’s reign. 800 years later when David came he could have added onto the work that had been done before. Archeologists have found many pools that were used for collecting the water. When Hezekiah built his tunnel, he started his men on two different sides and began working away at the rock. Their goal was to meet in the middle and they did. The rumor is that there was a little crack in the rock so the men were able to chisel away and meet in the middle because a little trickle of water led them to each other. It is 1750 feet long and 150 feet high.

Pool of Siloam (SS 6:1, 2 Kgs 23:10, 2 Kgs 25:1-4, Neh 2: 12-14, Jn 9: 6-7)
The Pool of Siloam was discovered in 2004 when the modern road was torn down due to erosion of some sort. When they were tearing it down, they found ancient rocks and later found that it was the Pool of Siloam! I was here shortly after they had discovered it! It was amazing to see what they had uncovered since then! It is great seeing things that are discussed in scripture!

Southern Wall Excavation & Southern Stairs (Jn 10:22, Jn 2:14, Jn 2:20, Mt. 4:5-7) & Acts 22:3, Acts 2:5-6, 14, 41, 46, Mt. 23:1-7, 13, 16, 27, 29-30, 33, Mt. 23: 37, Mt24:1-2)
The Southern wall shows Robinson’s arch demolished. Some of the old stones lay on the ground below. When the Romans came through, they knocked out the top of the arch and set it on fire. The road below is sunken in from the pressure of the large stones hitting the floor.
The Southern stairs acted as a great meeting place where you could speak to many people at the same time. People gathered here for discussion of a Spiritual nature. Near the stairs there was a Mikveh, where a physical adult full body immersion with water would occur. Anybody who was to enter into the Temple to make a sacrifice would have done Mikveh. Others would have done this for various reasons; touching the dead or once continuous blood flow had stopped.
Some suggest that Peter would have given his teachings on the Southern Stairs! He was a student under Rabban Gamaliel who would have taught him at the temple. That is just incredible to me! Some also suggest that this could have been the place where he gave his speech to the multitudes at Pentacost. The area would have been big enough to hold 3,000 people and his voice would have carried. Last but not least, those gathered here would have been about spiritual conversation anyways- especially after the resurrection of Christ.

Side note- the place “Gehenna”, mentioned could have been another name for the Valley of Hinom which had a reputation of being a valley full of garbage and waste. To get rid of the waste, people would burn it!

Pool of Bethesda (Jn 5:2-9)
Next, we found St. Ann’s, an old crusader church that was built to honor Virgin Mary’s mother who was from here. Inside, everything is beautiful and imperfect. The windows are not the same size, the pillars have different decorations. It sounds like it would be ugly, but it is not! It could have been when they were horse stalls. However, it is beautiful inside now and the acoustics are great! Close by is the Pool of Bethesda where it is said that the blind man was lying when Jesus healed him. The pool was very deep so he could not go in near the side. He would have been lying near the water.

Roof Tops (I took video)
We finished the day on top of a Hospice (Hostel) in the Muslim quarter of the Old city. I stood there in awe as we listed to the Mosque calls coming from the Minarets all around the city. It intrigued me.

Names

2009-02-06T04:30:00.000-08:00

My name is Shantra. Fortunately, I have some creative parents who really liked another name similar to the one that I have- they just decided to change it a bit. Everyone always asks, “What does it mean?” Depending on how I’m feeling that day, my answers vary. Sometimes I’m named after a fun- perky girl who used to work at KFC and sometimes it means Greek Goddess or Princess… sometimes it means both.

Names in the Old Testament period and early New Testament (from approx. 3975 BC- 33 AD) were given to someone or something as a way of declaring one’s power over the person or object being named. In other words, it was a way to identify somebody/ something & their relationship with the one who gives the name

Example:
Adam names all the animals (Gen 2:19)
Adam names his wife Eve (Gen 3:20)
David takes a city and gives it his name (2 Sam 12:28)

Women would take a man and seek his name, therefore acquiring his protection & authority (Isa. 4:1) “For seven women will take hold of one man in that day, saying, “We will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name; take away our reproach!”

In Gen. 1:26 “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds o the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth”

Some suggest that this was not a passage only explaining dominion over them by act of naming but through the act, discover what impression they would make upon him and how he would record them in relation to himself.

“To call over” something declares you belong to him. Therefore, you are under his protection and care.
(2 Chron. 7:14, Isa. 63:19, Jer. 14:9, Gen 32:24-30, 2 Sam. 12:28, Ps. 49:11, Isa. 4:1)

2 Chron. 7:13-14 “When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land”

Some say that the reason for God not revealing his name was due to the fact that whoever knew his name would possess the secret of His character and therefore have access to the power in which he possesses. This is interesting to me. Also, when speaking in His name, it meant that it was spoken under God’s inspiration and with his authority. Mt. 7:22, Lk 10:17, Mk 9:39, Acts 4:7-10) FYI- Baptizing in the name of Jesus means agreeing that Jesus has dominion over him/ her. The name of Yahweh was named over Israel with a result leading to Israel becoming His people.

Mt. 7:22 Many will say to me on that day, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name cast out demons, and in your name perform many miracles?

Lk 10:17 The seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord even the demons are subject to us in Your name”

Last but not least, name and reputation are used synonymously (Mk 6:14, Lk 6:22, Phil 2:9, Rev. 3:1).

Mark 6:14 And King Herod heard of it, for His name had become well known; and people were saying, John the Baptist has risen from the dead, and that is why these miraculous powers are at work in Him.

Phil 2:9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name

More Interesting facts:
On praying in Jesus’ name Jn 14:13, 15:16 is to ask as a representative on earth. Names were not chosen before a baby was born, but after. A name change signified a relationship status change or a change in circumstances.

Old City Jerusalem

2009-02-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

We began our field study today in the old city of Jerusalem. We first started directly behind our University. I found that within a stone throwing distance I could find an Anglican cemetery, Catholic tower, and a Muslim minaret (signifying a Mosque); three belief systems all upon the same land. We walked a little further to a place thought of as the Room of the Last Supper. “What are the symbols in this room telling you this is not the room of the last supper?” Dr. Wright asks.
The signs were obvious; stained glass, Arabic writing, tall Crusader arches, and a Mydrab (part of a Mosque that faces Mecca). I was confused. Dr. Wright explained that it was a Tel (Layers of cities). What we stood on today was simply a Tel. At various times it had been deemed as a Holy place by various religions- Muslims, Crusaders, Protestants. We also learned that Land was not made official until a church of some sort or a cemetery was built on it. One could never reclaim land where ancestors were buried.

We then spoke about the differences between History and Tradition. History, we would say is something that has happened. However, when it comes down to it, the story that we believe about history is simply that- a story, otherwise known as tradition. History can never simply stand alone. There is always a point of view and perspective that go with it. Therefore, it is safer and more accurate to call what westerners would call “History”- Tradition instead. The Tradition is rich in this place. Who we are inside is defined strongly by who our fathers are and who their fathers were. Tradition has been passed down from generation to generation.

Alright, back to the room of the Last Supper. 1st Century archeologists support that this was a Christian home church at one point. It was known as the “Mother of Zion,” or Dormition Abbey as well. They say this is where Mary went to sleep (died). I was confused that the same place could be named for many things; The last supper, where Mary died, a mosque was there to honor Esau (Jesus), and David’s tomb is here. This Holy ground has been declared holy by Jews, Muslims, and Christians- all in the same place! They are all fighting over who has ownership of it as well. How does that work?

Next on our list was the Jewish Quarters. We stood in a large hole that had been preserved by a famous archeologist. It revealed the Cardio (Main Street) of the early Jewish Quarter before it had been destroyed. The Jews were exiled in 1948 out the Zion gate on Shabbat. Then the Jordanians blew up the Jewish quarter. In 1967 the Israelis regained their land back and rebuilt it with an old flare, but it was really new. In Israel, it is custom that before anybody build anything on the land, archeologists have to dig. If they find anything (Jewish, Muslim, Christian, etc.) it is saved in its original form. This is why we were able to stand on the Cardio today, which had once been a road in the first century.

As we rounded a corner of the city a bright golden roof caught my eye. This was the Dome of the Rock, owned by the Muslims and referred to as the place where Mohammed left his foot print before ascending to Heaven. The Dome of the Rock is the highest place where the Tabernacle (Holy of Holies) was probably held. No wonder the Muslims want to hold onto it and guard it. NO excavation has ever been allowed. During the Uprising or “Antifada” of 1987 Arabs rose up against Israel by throwing stones over the wall and shooting rubber bullets where Jews were praying. Israel fought back and won. From then on, nobody who was of stone throwing age was allowed to leave the West Bank (controlled by Palestinians) to go worship at the Mosque. The Muslims rebelled and said that nobody, unless Muslim was ever again allowed into the Dome of the Rock. We can enter the outside quarters, but that is it.

Last on the agenda today was the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. This has been known as the spot for the death, burial, and resurrection site of Jesus. It contains all of the geographical qualifications to support this as well. There are six major Orthodox religions that own various pieces of this place (Greek, Armenian, Latin, Coptic, Syrian, and Ethiopian. Each has various times of the day where they can hold a service there and have access to the other churches’ property. The actual place is owned by the Muslims! This was due to the fact that there was a huge disagreement in 1757 that ended up where the third party (Muslims) took the keys to create peace!
Inside the Suplachre we walked to a first century tomb. Tombs were carved out in the rock. In the inside of the cave there are slits cut out into the wall where the bodies would lay. The hole in the wall is then sealed with another rock that rolls in front. Then there could be a second rock that actually seals the tomb because there could be several places for bodies to lie upon. After a year the family members come back and put their family member’s bones into an ossuary or a bone box. During the Iron Age, before the first century, tombs were made in a U shape where bodies were laid on a rock slab and once the bodies decayed, the bones would fall into the middle and join up with the rest of their family!

Last but not least, I had a Western idea smashed today and loved it! The idea that Jesus was hoisted up high on a cross is very unlikely. The whole point of crucifixion was to humiliate whoever was being punished. Therefore he would have been just high enough so his feet would not touch the ground. People could spit on him, birds could pluck out his eyes, dogs could eat his flesh and so on. We in America always put Jesus with a loin cloth on as well- this is not true. He would have been totally naked on that low cross.

Being here is intense. I really love it. I have attended one class in the field and could not stop being amazed at the intriguing mystery behind various traditions. I look forward to uncovering more of my tradition and the one of my ancestors.

I'm here!

2009-01-31T12:02:00.000-08:00

I made it to Israel! After seeing the sun rise and set a few times from the sky I finally arrived in Tel Aviv. We all spent the day walking in the old city, walking in Western Jerusalem and registering for classes. As for now... I'm off to bond with my pillow! Just wanted you to know I made it!

24 hrs. to go!

2009-01-28T18:29:00.000-08:00

Well, if anyone has found the art to packing... please contact me! I have sat on my suitcases, dumped them out, talked to them... and they are still being stubborn! With less than 24 hours to go... they better start working with me here!

I'll be studying in Israel for 2 years. However, I'll be back in Washington this summer. If you are interested in staying in touch while I am away, please email!

I'll use "Shan's Story" (my blog) to communicate my journeys to you while I am living in Israel. Shalom!

So... I updated it

2008-10-26T01:09:00.000-07:00

Yep, finally... I posted! Here are a few updates...

Where am I? Washington State

What am I doing? Working at a hospital teaching Clinicians how to chart electronically... yes, it is true!

What is next? Graduate school in Israel

Anything else?

Welcome back to my blog...

Time Flies

2008-04-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

April, March, February… all gone! Time flies!

Have you ever felt that you have so much to say… but no words will come out? That is exactly how my thoughts have been. I have found that forming words on paper is comparable to working out in the mornings. I really want to do it… but I just can’t. When my alarm goes off at the crack of dawn, 10 times out of 10 I reach over, hit snooze and hop back in bed... I have great intentions of working out hard…but just can’t seem to find the perfect time to do so!

I have found that no matter how many times I sit down with my hands on the computer... it never fails… within minutes I’m thinking of another lesson to write, laundry to do, a car to wash… and when I run out of excuses, I make one up. Closing the screen and enjoying my thoughts within the confinements of my own head is usually what occurs instead.

So… February, March, April… I’d say… look for another post around July… and in the mean time… I’ll just keep hitting the “snooze” button until the perfect time comes around again!

Interesting...

2008-02-10T16:18:00.000-08:00

So, I just finished reading More than a Skeleton by Paul Maier. For a fiction novel that is a "fun read"... I thought it had some very interesting dialogue.

"Resist religious extremism of every variety, dear friends! Extremism is a satanic curse that turns believers into blasphemers, devotees into devils, and the sane into insane. Jewish extremism led to the destruction of Jerusalem by the Romans in the ancient world. Christian extremism led to witch hunts and pogroms in the Middle Ages. Muslim extremism leads to terrorism, war, destruction, and death in the modern world.
Never measure success by what you have totaled up in the bank, wealthy are not those who have the most, but those who need the least. The truest measure of success is what you have done to help others. That will bring a satisfaction, a supreme and exuberant joy far greater than wealth, fame, or power can ever provide!"
- More than a Skeleton by Paul Maier
It makes me think. I like that.

Snowed In

2008-02-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

13 inches of snow in one day... yep, that is correct! I'm writing from my hotel room in Madison, Wisconsin. I am here for work- little did I know this trip would be full of surprises! After our classes today we learned that our shuttle decided not to run due to the weather... it was up to us to find transportation in one of the biggest storms Madison has had in 10 years... so we did.

With the wind blowing and snow drifts piling up all around we ventured out in it! I, along with 4 others decided we would make a jaunt to the public buss before they closed down due to weather. We were half way to the stop in the middle of the blizzard when we were able to bombard a taxi cab! We all piled in and held on! Cars, vans, shuttles were sliding around... cars were in ditches everywhere! We finally made it back to the hotel safely... just in time for dinner and bed! Ah, what a night!
It will be getting better though: http://wkow.madison.com/Weather/index.php

Summer pictures

2007-08-30T20:31:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I haven’t blogged in a long time… for those of you who are visual and want a fun update through pictures…. Check out my pics from the last 4 months…
http://picasaweb.google.com/shantrabolek

And if you insist on words…well, here you go:

I’ll be honest… life has been a little like a roller coaster since mom’s death… however, I have had some amazing opportunities to re- connect with friends over the last four months… it has been incredible and I am so thankful for all of our time together!

May- I traveled on a hiking tour with Ray Vanderlaan and a bunch of FFI alumni… we hiked 125 miles in the Holy land! It was incredible.

June- My friend Brandon got married, so I flew to TX to be a part of his special day! It was so good to see his family and cherished friends again!

July- Lori turned 30 so we were able to celebrate with fishing, rafting, catching crab, hiking, and even a little dancing!

August- Stacy from Colorado came for a visit and we did some Kayaking and hiking in good ol’ WA. Lori and I were also able to re-connect with some Slovak friends again in California! We enjoyed the beach- who cares if it’s raining!

Do I truly love God?

2007-06-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

Picture this- You wake up. The time is 5am. You throw your boots on, grab your pack, stock up on Gatorade, and join a group of ambitious warriors all ready to set out on an intense adventure. We never knew where we were going or how long it would take us, or even how difficult the trail was going to be. We did know that we could do it though- together as we followed our Rabbi who led us.

Each day encompassed its own hurdles, along with its own triumphs as we covered the lands of both Israel and Turkey.

One adventure that vividly sticks in my mind is the day we climbed Mt. Arbel. Had someone been standing at the top of this rugged mountain peering down, we would have appeared as little tiny ants. With the temp at 120, our packs full of water, and our legs ready to go, we began our journey up. RVL, our “Rabbi” for the trip would stop at various places challenging us with questions. At one point we passed some caves that used to be the home of the Zealots who were later burned and killed by Romans. The question for me was... "How dedicated am I?"

It took us about three hours to get to the top of Arbel. I was exhausted physically, but so thirsty for more knowledge - more depth. I wanted more...and I got it.

Standing at the top,our Rabbi looked at our hot, sweaty faces covered in dust. “What would you do if I told you that I had already been up here today?” The tears welled up in my eyes.

You see, before a Rabbi would teach his group of followers a tough lesson, Rabbis would climb to a high place (like Mt. Arbel) and pray for his followers before he shared the lesson with them. RVL climbed that mountain in the wee hours of the morning just to pray for each one of us by name. He did that for me. He did that for Lori- for each one of us. He cared deeply. It hit me hard.

If I’m not willing to work as hard as I did to climb this mountain just to pray for my Talmidim (group of followers) than am I really ready to lead? Do I care enough about people to do this for them? I say I love God, but do I sacrifice my own selfish desires to really serve Him... to serve others?

My heart was deeply moved… Do I really love God like I say I do?

This is a question that I continue to wrestle with.

Each day was filled with moments like this... thoughts and challenges that penetrated to the depths of my heart so deeply that I couldn't help but come back changed

Turkey/ Israel

2007-05-01T17:48:00.000-07:00

Turkey, here I come! On Friday, I am leaving to go follow in the footsteps of the Apostle Paul! Our adventure begins in Istanbul, then continues to the Sea of Galilee (Israel). We will be hiking through the lands of Ephesus, Ismir, Laodicea, Iconium, Aksaray, and Cappadocia. Oh I simply cannot wait! It will be good to "get dusty" following in the footsteps of a Rabbi! I'll keep you posted with pictures when I return in two weeks.

Whats next

2007-04-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

Well, Saturday went well. People from all over came and were a part of Mom's services. Her desire was to have a church service, so we did. Pastor Dave did a great job of just meeting us where we were-hurt and broken, yet thankful that there is no more suffering. The weather cleared for the graveside and for the memorial, and later on when I just went to be alone at the cemetery. It had been raining constantly, but every time there was a new chain of events... the rain cleared and it was a beautiful sunny day. I find this kind of ironic because mom loved sunshine. On the day she passed away, it was a beautiful sunny day as well, which came out of nowhere!

"Now what?" This seems to be the question that everyone wants to know. I wish I had an answer. Currently, I have been busy getting all of "mom's world" together. Its hard, but necessary. I will be leaving for Turkey soon (for a two week trek to follow in the footsteps of Paul, the Apostle), finishing up my current assignment at work, and moving on to whatever is next in life. My long term desire is to be in Africa loving on people. The steps to getting there have yet to be worked out. It looks as if I'll be staying here in WA for a bit until things calm down... we will see.

Thank you all of you who have followed Mom's story and have prayed for her, for me, for my family. I have really really appreciated your encouragement. Thank you.

Services

2007-04-11T15:51:00.000-07:00

Anne Marie Nell- Lane, passed away while surrounded by her loved ones on April 6, 2007. Anne was a dedicated mother, a loving daughter, a compassionate sister, and was loved by all she came in contact with.

Anne was born on January 17, 1957 in Fayetville, North Carolina. Anne was a hard worker serving at the bank for many years and later transitioned into a career in real estate. When asked what she liked about that, she answered, "making people happy." She was well known in the community for her "beautiful smile and loving personality." Anne enjoyed serving others and she truly cherished loving people.

She is survived by her daughter, Shantra Bolek of Tacoma; parents, Jack and Sharon Nell of Gig Harbor; brothers, Tony and Gary Pettingill of Lakewood; and sister, Dodie Egolf of Bonney Lake. A graveside service will be held for her 10:00 AM, Saturday, April 14, 2007 at Mountain View. Memorial service will follow at 11:30 AM, Saturday, April 14, 2007 at Puyallup Nazarene Church 1026 7th Ave. SW Puyallup. Published in the News Tribune (Tacoma) on 4/11/2007.

(mom and I are pictured on the left 1982)

For those wanting to honor mom’s memory and to offer comfort to other families struggling with cancer, donations may be made in her name to the Outreach of Hope.

Visit their website for information or to make an on-line
contribution:
www.outreachofhope.org/

Checks can be mailed directly:

Outreach of Hope
13840 Gleneagle Drive
Colorado Springs, CO 80921

~Please note on your contribution that the gift is in memory of Anne Marie Nell

~If you need an additional contact information regarding me or the family, please call Lori at (253) 219-8317

April 6, 2007

2007-04-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

January 17, 1957 my ma was born into this world. April 6, 2007 my ma left. Mom was a fighter until the very end. Although mom wasn’t really able to tell everyone how much she loved them towards the end I know that she would want you all to know. Mom cared for a lot of people and therefore she was easily loved in return.

Yesterday her little nephew wrote his “Aunt Annie” a card. It read: I love you. You’re the best aunt I ever had. You were very nice to me. I’ll always rember you. You were the best. I’ll remember and I’ll always love you and youll be in a happy place. I love you.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. I am going to miss her so much. My heart is definitely grieving. It was weird trying to go to sleep last night when there were not the sounds of mom in the background- no hug at night, no coughing, no laughing, no bonding over American Idol. For the past two months I have gotten use to making breakfast for her, bringing her ice chips at night, checking on her through the rough nights. I lay in bed last night… it was different- so quiet- so lonely.

At the end of mom’s life I was able to hold her hand, pray for her, kiss her, and just let her know that I love her. I whispered into her ear “Let Him take you mom, I’ll be ok… I love you” Mom passed away with her mom and dad, best friend, Lor, and me at her side. I love her so much.

I was reminded of a couple of things today.

Good Friday was the day that Jesus died…and for me- also the day that mom passed away… the days that followed for the disciples were confusing, frightening, new, and unpredictable…. As it is for me. The disciples had no idea what was next… their worlds would be rocked by the unexpected to come…I’m sure they didn’t “feel it/ or see” that many incredible things came from Christ’s death.

I know that with mom’s life she was an encouragement to those she came in contact with. She loved so many. Now I’m trusting that even though the road seems confusing, frightening, and new… that her death would also be a new beginning … that we would be encouraged... God is a God who works through unpredictable circumstances. Would I have chosen this for mom? No. Never. I wouldn’t have chosen it for Jesus either. But as a result of his death magnificent change came that transformed lives. I want the end of mom’s story to end exactly the same. I’m just going to wait and pray with anticipation knowing that great things are to come… even if I can’t see it or feel it now- I’m trusting Him for this. I mean after all- it was Good Friday!

Mom

2007-04-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

Mom came home via ambulance from the hospital yesterday. Her doctor has been so incredible. Unfortunately, they have tried all that they can to help mom. Now, with the help of hospice, we are trying to make her remaining time here as comfortable as possible. I can honestly say that this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to walk through. My grandparents, loved ones, friends, and co workers have been very understanding and so helpful. I have really appreciated all of your ongoing prayers and support.

At this time it is in the best interest of mom to only have the immediate family near by. I know that many of you who read this blog love mom dearly… she knows this. Please continue to pray for her and remember her as the Anne that we all love and know. She would want you to smile when you think of her and laugh when you think of your memories together.

Right now I am crying out to God for two things. One- that if He chooses not to taker her life soon… that He would create the biggest miracle in her body. God can continue to work miracles. I know this to be true and have seen it- even in the life of mom. or two- Take her quickly. Which ever one He chooses to do- He is the same God today, yesterday and forever… even when it hurts.

Please love mom and remember her just as you always have. She would like that.

ER

2007-04-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

Standing in the hallway just inside of the ambulance entryway my senses are heightened. I smell the body fluid of someone who cannot control them. At the end of the hall a woman is yelling at the nurse who is trying to care for her. Within a matter of 10 minutes I have witnessed a seizure, a bleeding head, and a cute little ol’ lady who just needs to rest. So why am I here?
Since Thursday, mom has been having a very tough time breathing. Gradually her lungs have been filling up with fluid which makes it difficult for her lungs to open. By the time I brought mom into the ER she could hardly catch her breath. They drained 1 ¼ liters of fluid from her, which will allow her lungs to expand. She is currently being held at the hospital. The situation is getting more intense, but mom is in good hands at the hospital. Her nurses and Dr. have been incredible.

Washing feet

2007-03-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

So, these are the same feet that are supposed to get me 100 miles across Turkey in one month... what in the world? I look forward to being an outcast once again in a foreign country (even if it is for two weeks). I have the privilege of going and studying the journeys of Paul under an amazing teacher, RVL. It is amazing at what Paul endured just so that our Christ would be known. He exemplified the Lord by the way He walked.

I currently work with such a huge mix of people- I enjoy this a lot. There are various backgrounds, lifestyles, and beliefs represented in my "trailer." Well, today I ended up in a conversation centered on how Christianity is a cult. "People should not be forced to believe one way... people can chose their own religion and not push it on others like the Evangelicals do"- is what I heard.
The conversation went on to talk about a previous pastor in Colorado (with whom I am very familiar with) and how he could be engaging in homosexual activity with a prostitute all the while condemning others who are doing the same thing- just out in the open "what hypocrites these Christians are" is what filled the air today.

I listened and wanted to defend immediately- to somehow tell them that they have been misinformed about Christianity... to tell them it wasn't a brainwash fest... to tell them that Christians, including pastors are not exempt from anything, including temptation. I would have defended as much as I could with my words... I sat there thinking...No, this is what they are used to- words, words words! It is the very thing that has hurt us in the first place... words- Empty words without actions behind them. Do people need to know Christ's love? Yes- most have heard of it. But, not many have experienced it with actions.

If we, the "believers" of today quit worrying about our differences and come together based on the one most important thing we have in common- our Lord...the word Christianity would not make so many cringe. Our words would be put into actions. I sincerely hope that the people in that room today will experience Him, not just hear about him.

Who was it that washed the disciples' feet anyways? Oh yah, the guy who touched a man's eyes and he saw, fed the starving, defended a woman caught in adultery, loved the brokenhearted, and served the Rich. We need to desire desperately to be like that man, in not only our words but our actions.

Teaching galore

2007-03-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

By the year 2010 all information gathered in a hospital (ECGs, Vitals, Xrays, etc.) is supposed to be online... translation... say goodbye to paper charting! I have been working at this hospital developing curricula that will be implemented for education.

This "online medical record system" process started about 2 years ago and now the hospital is just about ready to launch the "Go Live" date... the only problem is... the program is still not built... completely... which leads me to the next thing that makes you go "what in the world?"

Last week we started teaching the masses... in the next month and a half we will be educating more than 3,000 employees on how to use this program. Lets just say it has been pretty interesting working in a computer system that you truly "just never know what you are gonna get!" I have learned the joy of thinking on the fly and pulling scenarios out of the air as if "it was planned all along! " I thought I had to be on my toes with my kiddos in Slovakia with their flying school desks... I've got the medical profession now baby! Oh I love adventure!

Mom update: She received more platelets, potassium, and magnesium today in a transfusion. She will return to the doctors tomorrow.

Dress Up!

2007-03-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

It's never too late to dress up! Mom and I got to play with all of her wigs!

We went from being brunette, to blond... from long hair to short... I felt like I was reverting back to my childhood! We had a ton of fun!

Unfortunately, Saturday's festivities were a little too much for mom... she ended up in the hospital on Monday after a really rough night of endless nosebleeds and such. She ended up receiving five bags of blood! Her red count was at a 13 and it needed to be at least 36... her platelets should have been at 150,000... she was at 1,000.

She is fully loaded with new blood and back at home resting now.

Blessed Child

2007-03-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

Alright, I finally sucked it up and went to the doctor. For about the past month now, I have been battling in and out with sickness. Well, the reality is- I just can’t be sick. Mom’s immune system can’t handle it. So, I went- got some funky drugs and have been assigned to my couch to rest. I do have to say, it has been nice. I started a fire, lit a candle and began reading a book that I have been wanting to read for a while.

It is about an orphaned boy who was raised in an Ethiopian monastery. At age ten he was the only one to escape when a group murdered every one in the Monastery and all within 10 miles. As the boy is held captive in another land that is foreign to him, he reflects.

Darkness filled the room. A click sounded in the latch and then her footsteps clacked away... The knob wouldn’t turn. He spun around, suddenly frightened. The dim shape of the bed with its white sheets lined the darkness… a scene from the monastery flashed through his mind.
“Dadda, Dadda, it’s dark! I’m afraid!”
“Dark? Nonsense, child. It’s as bright as day in here.”
“It is?”
“It is. Open your eyes.”
“My eyes? They aren’t open?”
“Not if you can’t see the kingdom. Not if you can’t see the light. Open your eyes.”
“Ouch!”
“What?”
“I touched my eye, It is open, Dadda.”
He chuckled. “Open your other eyes, Son. The eyes of your heart. You will see that it is very light in here. It’s always light in the kingdom of God.” He was a small child and it was the first time he’d seen the light. The kingdom, as Dadda liked to call it. It occurred to him that this was no different than that.

Caleb crossed to the bed and climbed up. He sat against the wall, pulled his knees to his chin, closed his eyes, and began to hum. No, this was not different at all. The kingdom was not just bottled up in a monastery somewhere. It smothered the world. That’s what his father used to say. "It smothers the earth, Caleb.”
A thin film of light lapped at his mind and he smiled. He began to sing in Ge’ez Words. Kingdom words. Then he walked in and his world went white.

Mom update- Tuesday we found out her kidneys &/or liver are not working properly. The Doc gave her fluids to hydrate her. She is doing better. Wednesday she was given a weaker dose of a new Chemo. Yesterday she slept a lot.

Ahhh

2007-02-24T14:29:00.000-08:00

Doesn't it seem like there is WAY more evil than good in this world? It makes me want to scream, that's for sure. This past week alone, I missed getting ran over by a car by about 2 inches, experienced much ruthless gossip, have witnessed way too many arguments, and have just seen people desperately hurting. Most all of it is caused by selfishness. I hate evil! Its everywhere!
This same week I happened to read Romans 12.

Romans 12
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Just a few minutes ago while I was typing this, a neat thing happened. A group of teenage boys came to the door collecting food for people living in various places on a continent I long to be on. I invited them in and gathered some goodies. They have no idea how refreshed I was just to know that they were selflessly giving of themselves... just three young believers trying to make a dent in this crazy world by loving others.

Romans 15
"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Now, I by no means, state that I am wonderful at loving people at all times. However, I'm gonna try dang it!

Good stuff

2007-02-19T22:42:00.000-08:00

Mom- My mama came home today! She has been sleeping quite a bit, but she is feeling better. Doc has her on some pain medication along with some other huge horse pills- Yuck. She was able to receive a blood transfusion and they drained the fluid out of her lungs as well. This should help with breathing because her right lung had lost all breathing capacity when it was full of fluid. Her CT scans will be discussed in another doctor's appt on Wednesday.

Thanks- So some of you are wondering... um, I called her about a week ago... why hasn't she called me back??? Well, thanks for all of the calls, concerns, and encouragement. I appreciate you. A couple of things... I have either been in the hospital where there hasn't been service, I haven't been able to talk... or... I've just been too tired. I am getting your messages, and love them so much- Thank you! You guys are fantastic! I'll return them... it might just take me a little bit.

The Word-"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadows of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust" Psalm 91

I was reminded of these words from a longtime friend of mine the other day at lunch. It had been probably about 15 years since I had seen her. She shared how her son, with whom I grew up with can recite it by memory. This brought tears to my eyes- The Lord is perfect. Her son has taken a tough road that has led him to some tough spots, including jail. As we sat looking at Psalm 91 together, I just had to smile. The Lord allowed my path to cross with her son's several years ago when he was imprisoned- I sat there nervous... he sat there intrigued... "How could I be a Christian? When did this happen?" He was puzzled. Well, as I look forward for his release, I eagerly await a time where we can sit down and I can hear his story. I want to learn from him. One thing is for sure, no matter what, I can't wait to see my friend again. I look forward to hearing from the kid who use to gross me out with Lizards and always beat me in basketball. Oh, its gonna be good.

ER

2007-02-18T00:55:00.000-08:00

Well, mom apparently missed the hospital so much that she went back in tonight. Earlier this afternoon she was very weak again and extremely disoriented... so I took her into the Emergency Room. After many tests, doctors concluded that she needs to have a blood transfusion (which she is receiving all through the night tonight) and they are going to drain fluid off of her lungs tomorrow morning. She is now admitted and being cared for by the nurses. We are waiting on results of more Xrays and a CT scan.

February 15

2007-02-15T16:50:00.000-08:00

Well, mom is doing better. However, we had a few bumps in the road this week. On Sunday it would appear that she had a "something or other" resembling another TIA…

Transient Ischemic Attack Overview
A transient ischemic attack (TIA), or mini-stroke, occurs when the supply of oxygen is cut off to an area of the brain. Unlike the effects of a stroke, which are often permanent, the symptoms of a transient ischemic attack last less than 24 hours and usually less than 10 minutes.

During this time, mom gave me a new name because she couldn’t remember mine and she tried to tell me the poor dog needed surgery! Relax, Tootles is fine, and unharmed. Fortunately, after a while her speech and memory fell back into place and she took on the normal being of mom again.Since then, she has had her blood taken three times and each time it has shown that her counts are coming up! She hasn’t needed a transfusion at all this week! Her color is returning and yesterday, she even came downstairs and spent the day visiting with a friend! She is doing better folks!

About 4 months ago I started putting together a book of prayers, messages, notes, and many many encouraging words from all of you. I have been receiving encouraging words from all over (Slovakia, Africa, Czech, Hungary, Florida, Georgia, TN, MI, CO, TX, -just to name a few… so many of you who read my blog are included in that- Thank you!- You all have been praying for her and helping out so much! Thank you. Each time I received some encouragement, I printed it off and put it in her book so that she could also see how much God has been using His people to love her through this as well. She loved it!

Light bulbs

2007-02-10T21:28:00.000-08:00

I went for a run tonight just as the moon was coming up. As I was breathing in the cool air and enjoying the soft rain drops freely fall on my face I realized something. I am a traveling light bulb!

I made this realization when I rounded a corner and saw the silhouette of houses, trees, and cars being engulfed by darkness. This wasn't anything new. That is what happens when the sun goes down. What caught my attention was the single lit lamps that were staggered down the road in front of me. They were shining all with different intensities. Although there were few, I was drawn to them and felt safer near them- no matter how much light they gave off.

I was encouraged. Although, it seems like we, as believers stick out so ridiculously sometimes, we are meant to- because we are not children of darkness. We are children of light. Eventually I believe that I will be overseas living in dark places with people who know so much more about suffering than I can even begin to imagine. They have experienced so much pain in the midst of darkness.

The enemy has his schemes wherever we go in the world. Darkness is just that- dark no matter what the situation or location. I imagine a time- where the idea of being reunited with other "temples of light" will be so rewarding. It is now and I live in a culture where there are so many churches, bible studies, christian groups, and so on and so on. I love genuine fellowship now... I long for it now... but I know there will come a time when I will be placed in culture or situation where this wont be as accessible as it is now. In many ways it could be similar to the path tonight.

My excitement grew as my feet picked up the pace towards home. I felt discomfort on the black stretches of cement, but was encouraged knowing what was ahead- another light, and another light, and another, until I got home. I just had to put one foot in front of the other knowing that I was running not just to my physical home tonight, but to so much more.

Luke 8:16-18, Psalm 119:105

2/6/07 Update- Mom

2007-02-06T10:59:00.000-08:00

Mom’s feeling better. She was up this morning, got a bath and went to a doctor's appointment where they were going to check her vitals and re- evaluate some of her meds. They found that she does need to have a blood transfusion tomorrow as her white blood count, red blood count, and Platelets are low. She will be monitored daily with blood tests from the lab until her counts come up. She is on her way home to veg out and sleep.

2/2/07 Update- Mom

2007-02-03T11:16:00.000-08:00

Mom went through her first round of this new Chemo on Wednesday. She will receive it once every three weeks and then go in for a "booster" shot to help boost her immune system. She has been sleeping a lot and is pretty weak. She stays in bed unless one of "Shantra's world famous smoothies" brings her up... even then- she gladly accepts "room service." She has started eating again though, so hopefully she will gain some more strength. She is finding it difficult to get comfortable as she is in a bit of pain (especially at night) - but this comes and goes. Mom has had some great helpers come by and hang out with her. Thanks guys!

Thank you for all of your emails and support. I'll continue to keep you posted through the blog for now, as this is probably the easiest means of communication for me. Thanks- Shantra

Yesterday’s report

2007-01-31T06:22:00.000-08:00

Many of you have been calling about the doctor’s report yesterday on Mom- Thank you… here is how it went.

Mom’s tumors have gotten larger and the number of tumors in both her lungs and in her liver has increased. The doctor gave her the decision to either quit Chemo or try a different kind of Chemo again, as she has not been responding to her current treatments. She has chosen to try one that she tried in the beginning along with a new kind combined. This particular kind of chemo made her really sick last time, but she’s going to give it another fight.

The doctor did say that her body will eventually reach a point where she will not be able to receive Chemo because her body will be too weak. Although, she is fairly weak right now, she is currently able to try a new dose today.

Yah, its hard news to receive. Mom and I were able to have a good time together last night. We talked about what the future could potentially look like in the next couple of months- hard but good. We will still continue to pray for a physical healing knowing that God can work His miracles. Please continue to pray for her, for me, for our family- that God would have His way in us- and that all would intimately know Him.

Omnipresent

2007-01-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

So... I had a thought today... If God is everywhere all the time... why do I ask Him in my prayers to come and meet me, or us- if I'm praying for the group?

God is Omnipresent- Omni "all", present "here" He is already here.

Psalm 139: 7
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

Alright, so God is everywhere all the time. This would mean He is there when I sleep, when I drive, when I tinkle, and so on... this would also mean that He is present during war, during murder, during rape, during all that is destructive. Is He even present in Hell? If He wasn't, this would limit God and take away any validation of the scriptures that He could be anywhere at any time. However, if He was present in Hell why would He let the very people He loves and has created stay in this place of torment?

See why I'm struggling with this?

In one of the books I'm reading the author states that God is present in different ways in different places... sometimes he is present to punish (Amos 9:1-4), sometimes he is present to sustain (Col. 1:17), and sometimes he is present to bless (Ps. 16:11). I have never thought of this in such a way.

Wayne Grudem writes:
"Some examples of the usual biblical means of expression are as follows: 2 Cor. 3:17: "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom"' Romans 8:9-10: "you are in the Spirit, if in fact the spirit of God dwells in you... if Christ is in you... your spirit is alive"' John 14:23: "If a man loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him," and so forth. All of these verses talk about God's presence and assume that we understand that they mean God's presence to bless.

In a parallel kind of expression, when the Bible talks about God being "far away" it usually means he is "not present to bless." For example, Isaiah 59:2 says, "Your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God," and Proverbs 15:29 declares: "The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous." In summary, God is present in every part of space with his whole being, yet God acts differently in different places. Furthermore, when the Bible speaks of God's presence, it usually means his presence to bless, and it is only normal for our own speech to conform to this biblical usage (Pg. 177, Systematic Theology)."

If I look at this past week alone, I have been in many places- some places probably would not "look right" to a fellow believer driven by the truth and laws alone.... On the contrary I have actively participated in gatherings where love was so full that the truth got left out. If I am sitting at a party full of people in love with the world, or singing praises in church He is there. How is His presence being revealed in those very places though? That is the question.

What I should really be praying is, "Lord, let me see you and appreciate you here in this place. Lord, how may I join you here?"

Dreams

2007-01-14T11:06:00.000-08:00

It amazes me how much God uses dreams to communicate to His people.

Daniel was frequently given dreams and visions that led God’s people into a deep understanding of what was about to take place (Dan. 9). Joseph’s dreams revealed the sovereign authority he would soon have over his brothers (Gen. 37).

“Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”

The brothers’ hatred grew for him and eventually climaxed in selling him to the Ishmaelites. Yet, more dreams occurred and those visions unraveled in reality for the brothers and for Joseph.Gideon, Solomon, Nebuchadnezzar, even Job are given dreams that communicate the Lord’s power.

Dreams just don’t happen exclusively in the Old Testament… God reveals Himself in the New Testament (Matt. 1-2, Matt. 27, Acts 2) as well. In Acts 2, Peter speaks to the crowd citing words from the prophet Joel on God's vast ways of communication (Joel 2:28-32).

So what is all this dream business Shantra?
Yah, well, I have started to look into dreams a little more seriously recently as I have been having more and more of them.

Now, let me stop you right now before I go any further. I know that the Lord uses dreams and visions today.However, unlike Joseph or Daniel, He has not revealed to me an ability to give definitive interpretations of them. But...I do trust the Holy Spirit as questions arise and as I ponder these visions. Looking back over just this week… I feel like He has been showing me this- God’s authority prevails at all times, no matter what the world’s situation is. In fact, He showed this to me in a passage from Matthew 24:4-9.

“Jesus answers: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Christ, and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.

Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.”

Whoa. So does this terrify me? No, it doesn’t. I receive it as “Shantra Bolek, you better be ready.” Ready for what? I’m not exactly sure… but one thing is for sure. I am putting on the boxing gloves, training for the time (whether I see it or not) when persecution is going to be great, when lives will be taken, when war is going to rage, and when our God is going to be proclaimed in all the nations- every knee will bow, every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord now and forever! (Romans 14:11, Philippians 2) Amen

In the meantime, I'll just continue asking for dreams, and praying that He might reveal Himself more fully to me through them like He did for Daniel and those that were so deep in love with Him.

Its been a while!

2007-01-09T20:53:00.000-08:00

This is my Grandma and me at her retirement party! Congrats Grandma! Isn't she beautiful!

Christmas

So... this year has started off with a boom! Christmas was great. It was neat experiencing it a little bit different this year! Usually I am running from house to house eating diligently as I go as if the world was ending in an hour... talking a hundred miles a minute as if conversation wouldn't happen in the allotted time... and thrusting out gifts for all to enjoy, as if we didn't have enough already! This year... I adopted the word simplicity into my vocabulary and I loved it! Christmas Eve I enjoyed a relaxing night with my cousins, mom, and Lor. Then on Christmas I was able to see all of my families including aunts, uncles, grandpa, dad, cousins, mom, and so on. It was great!

Dad, Heather, and my brothers on Christmas morning!

Visitors
Then... I had many special visitors from overseas come visit! Matt from Budapest came over bearing some nice Hungarian treats. Also coming from Hungary was Erin, a dear friend who delighted both Lori and I with conversation and just being reunited again. A long lost friend of about 26 years came up from California and we were able to enjoy good ol' Olive Garden! My old roomie from Slovakia who is deeply obsessed with cats even made a surprise appearance in Tacoma!

And last but not least... tonight we are supposed to have a huge snow storm! Yippee!!!!

Your Name

2006-12-18T16:18:00.000-08:00

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1

and by the way... I passed my exam today! One down, one to go!

Praises

2006-12-17T21:34:00.000-08:00

Have you ever just had one of "those days?" Days, when one moment you are happier than a lark, singing like a canary and then the next moment you want to weep like a baby? This past week has been like that for me... not any particular one reason... just many of them all bunched up into one bundle a girl doesn't know what to do with! I guess the best I can do is let you know the highlights and ... the lowlights...yes, like a beauty salon- sometime you have really great cuts... and sometimes... you don't!

Obvious things to be thankful for
1. A man I met at Barnes and Noble last week (see last entry) "just so happened" to stand next to me during church last night! It was awesome to be reunited with my new friend! It was a sweet reunion! He had to catch the city bus before we could really dive in, but I have a feeling I'll see them both again.

2. Earlier this week I hurt my back- within two days you couldn't even tell I was "out a commission" Praise God! We prayed that the Lord would work yet another miracle... and yes, He certainly did! Oh praise Him!

3. I'm awaiting confirmation to go study and hike in Turkey for two and 1/2 weeks. I'll be walking in the footsteps of Paul and eating as much dust as I can following closely behind our "rabbi."

4. The Lord has held me extra close lately. It is good to feel His embrace- the One who will never reject, never abandon, never leave you. He has been hugging me a lot lately.

5. I've been meeting some pretty incredible people recently... People who absolutely love the Lord, ones that absolutely despise Him, and some that are indifferent. I cherish these new relationships.

6. An amazing dear friend is getting married! Looks like I get to go to TX in June to see him get hitched! 7. My computer bit the dust, but I now have a new hardrive and we are alive and kicking again!

7. We got slammed by a huge storm last week... thousands of people are still without power, fences were blown away, marinas devastated.. I think there were only 3 deaths though. We managed to be without power for only two days... but some people will be without for another week. They are still clearing trees out of the roads, picking up the power lines, and so on! I enjoyed the chance to be still by candle light!

The "not so obvious" things to be thankful for
1. My friend and old roommate Brandy is in the hospital. She has been experiencing strong pain and doctors cannot figure it out. Nurses have been giving her morphine to help manage the pain, but at this point they are still lost. Lori, Brandy, and I all lived together in Florida and I wish I could just go and hold her hand right now... Pray for her...laugh with her, cry with her, just hug her. My heart hurts being so far away when she is suffering so much.

2.First of all... I am so thankful that mom is here this holiday. She is alive, moving around, and able to be with us! The Lord has really done a miracle in her life. As far as her current health.. She goes in tomorrow again because she is lacking in energy and needs to draw blood. This is probably due to her continued chemo treatments. She will probably have another platelets transfusion. Many of her tumors have shrank on her liver and her lungs... A few have gotten larger.

3. Honestly, my heart is just so heavy for the people that I am so close with and love. Many do not understand who the Lord really and truly is- that He is real. He does listen, He does love them, He is the Almighty. So many hurts and challenges are facing everyone- This will always be true. However some of these mountains do not look so impossible when God is holding you up through them. Oh I desire for them to drink Him in, to understand how much He longs for his sons and daughters. I desire this more fully for myself as well!

4. It also seems like there are so many in pain- whether it is physical pain, emotional pain, or spiritual... some friends are wrestling with marriage, some have come down with cancer, some are dealing with deep depression, drug addictions, alcoholism... the list goes on and on... Ahh... Jesus, would you come quickly!

5.On a lighter note...Tomorrow and Tuesday I will be taking a pretty intense test and speaking in front of a panel in hopes of "passing" this credentialing process for work. So... I could either be a really happy "employed" camper on Wednesday, or I could be a "not so happy" camper..we will see

Anyways, I don't share this to sound like Eeyore on Winnie the Pooh or for a "Woe is me" whimper. I simply share this because I know that many of you who read this are prayer warriors. That you care, and that you have been praying with me through so much. I just share this to be real with you...to thank you... and to ask you to continue praying... thanking Him for what He has been doing... and thanking Him for what we have not even seen yet!....and there is so much to be thankful for! Praise Him!

Firsts

2006-12-10T00:38:00.000-08:00

A first for everything... Lori, Sarah, Jacob, and I went and chopped down our Christmas tree today. I have so many fun memories of doing this when I was a little girl, so it sure was a treat to show Sarah and Lor how a "Washington Christmas tree chopping extravaganza" goes!

The day got better and better...

Several hours later, I’m at Barnes and Noble in the Christian section. I walk down the isle and I hear a “Boy you are in the right place aren’t you?” This came from a man also occupying this small section of the store. “Yes, sir” I replied. We began talking. I was instantaneously aware that the presence of God was so real and so genuine in this man. The word of God rolled off of his tongue and penetrated to the depths of my heart. He spoke passionately about desiring a spot right at Jesus’ feet with his arms wide open drinking in the Lord’s presence. This man spoke with so much power and boldness… so much truth. At some point in the conversation I thought to myself, could this be an angel? As he spoke he asked me, are you called to mission work? “I am” I replied. The words he spoke next were this, “Do not fall into what the world will tell you you need to do in order for Him to use you in your calling.” He went on to say, “You know you are called. You listen to him and you step out in faith. He will guide you every single step of the way. Step out in boldness.” Wow, I wanted more.

As we are talking and just soaking in the presence of the Lord through our interaction another man joined the conversation. My brother in Christ had a joy about him- anyone could tell that he loves the Lord.

At one point in the conversation he mentioned that he had to pick up blood work at the hospital. I needed to know more. Later on when I'm thinking how in the world I'm going to ask him this... he looks at me and goes, “Come on…”
“Huh?- I replied confused.
“Come on, step out He’s using you.”
I was astonished… hesitant… thinking I might as well be crazy…
“Come on,” he said.
“Are you sick?” I asked. He stared at me with big eyes. “Come on, tell me more.” He replied, “Let Him use you.”
My heart pounding and the presence of the Lord so physically real to me at this point…I wanted to either run or weep.. I couldn't tell... so for now, I just wanted the man to tell me about his sickness…. “Is it cancer?”
“No, but it is something along those lines.” He replied.
I stared back just struck.
“See just like you knew I was sick- not many of my closest friends even know that about me- you act when He’s calling you. You have a great calling on your life and you know that.”

(I tell you this, not because I’m some great person… I am what I am because He has made me…I tell you this because I am an ordinary person like all of us… still the Lord speaks to us and loves us…and uses us... as ordinary people… and he equips us to do extraordinary things.)

With these words I knew the Lord wanted me to pray for this man- right in the middle of Barnes and Noble. I put down my books and the other men put theirs down as well. We came together in unity and purpose. We prayed together boldly and with authority. I wish I could describe to you the warmth, the feeling, the thankfulness, and the love I felt not only for this man I had only known for 10 minutes but for the LORD. This was a divine appointment.

Eventually, we came back into the real world and I noticed people baffled standing around, it didn’t matter. Praise God! Ah it was so good. He wiped his tears, I wiped the beads of sweat on my forhead, and the other man wiped the astonishment of what just happened. We just enjoyed the presence of God together- right in the middle of Barnes and Noble. Oh… so good….. so so good.

Still fire

2006-12-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

This is the view from our balcony around 6 am... Mount Ranier...

" Then the angel who was speaking to me left, and another angel came to meet him and said to him; "Run, tell that young man, 'Jerusalem will be a city without walls because of the great number of men and livestock in it. And I myself will be a wall of fire around it, declares the Lord, and I will be its glory within." Zechariah 2:5

"Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling" Zechariah 2:13

Live

2006-11-27T23:19:00.000-08:00

"Do all you can with what you have, in the time you have, in the place you are." Nkosi Johnson- 12 year old Aids Victim

Joy

2006-11-23T09:12:00.000-08:00

My friend Beck came to visit a couple of weeks ago and it was oh- so good.

This past week has been extremely rewarding, yet challenging for a few reasons. I have been experiencing times with the Lord that are different than I am used to.

He is bringing me out of this “box” mode of thinking. I have realized that our relationships with the Lord should not be bathed in “cookie cutter sameness” as the person next to me, but should be extremely unique as we are unique. Some of my favorite times with Him this past week have been cruising down the street listening to praise and worship and just laughing with joy at how good He is- how much He desires for us to be intimate with Him.

True joy is not found in things of this earth or situations, but true joy happens in Him alone. Therefore, I am bathing richly in His joy. I am loving the new sidewalks that He is taking me down, I’m loving the vulnerability that He is wanting me to walk through, I’m excited at boldness that is stirred up inside, and I am embracing His commitment to me as his daughter in whom He loves.

Psalm 3
O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” But you are a shield around me, O Lord you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me, I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.”

..."But you are a shield around me, O Lord you bestow glory on me and lift up my head." My joy is found in you. Amen

Doctors, Nurses, and Shantra

2006-11-11T23:05:00.000-08:00

Medical Field
So, I'm sitting here amongst people who have more letters after their name than I have in my name (P.H.D.... M.A...). "Emerging trends in Health Care Technology" is the name of the convention that I am attending. I am here as an Epic Instructor from one of the major hospitals in the area. My job consists of working at a hospital while educating doctors, nurses, and basically the whole medical crew on how to use the new online medical record system. Thus... I'm at a conference where all the VERY intelligent technological geniuses can get together and get their think tanks running... I just happened to get placed in that crew for the day... and boy did I learn some things...

Here is a glimpse of some of the newest trends hitting the medical field...

A molecular test that tests any dangerous activity anywhere in your body and lets you know test results in 30 minutes! It can reveal which specific diseases you are going to be more sensitive to due to your genetically make- up.

There are new "agents" AKA dye that will glow inside your body at the exact place where your body is contaminated with cancer or any other foreign disruption. Doctors will be able to locate specific areas where the tumors are by using the "agents" and an ultrasound. Then, instead of cutting the tumor out... doctors will Zap out the tumor using a high powered "beam of electricity"(Shantra's vocabulary)! No more scars!

Instead of getting hip replacements or knee replacements... there is going to be something called "hip remodeling" or "knee remodeling"... Docs are going to be able to rebuild the human body basically!

Other amazing things going on in my world

Mom is doing fantastic. Although she was turned down by the Cancer Research center in Seattle, she is pulling through with flying colors. Many people have prayed over her and laid hands on her praying for her healing. She says thank you so much for praying.

Pastor Dave, an incredible pastor in my hometown received healing about a week and a half ago! He used to have braces on his legs to help him walk, and now he is walking freely without them! Praise God!

I have had two great weekends of out of town visitors... one of them was Amy- Adam's step mom and the other visitor was Becky- good friend from CO. Our time together was so rewarding and edifying. The Lord has just been hugging me so much lately. Ah, it feels good.

I am in constant contact with some of my students and friends from Bratislava. They are all doing quite well. They just enjoyed the first snow! Maria, a current 8th grader has been improving so much in her English and has been spiritually growing a lot! I enjoy talking to her whenever I can!

Visitors

2006-11-01T13:34:00.000-08:00

Mom, Lori, and Amy at Mom's house
Our first fire!
Breakfast at Shan's and Lor's
Amy and Shan

Whining

2006-10-30T20:28:00.000-08:00

Have you ever just wanted to curl up with a blanket by a nice hot cozy fire and sit in silence while the autumn leaves rustle in the brisk air outside? I’m doing it right now. All I hear is the crackling of the fire and the laundry making its last cycle.

My heart is heavy right now and I can’t quite put my finger on why. The Lord has been pouring out His blessings on me so much lately I hardly know what to do. He has given us a nice apartment, new jobs, visiting friends- and those are just the tangible things. He has been allowing stuff to hurt and to challenge where my faith has grown exponentially… He has been giving me so much joy- my desire for Him has increased. There have been times recently where I have cried out praises to Him, I’ve yelled at the enemy and demanded he flee, I’ve heard the Lord clearly, I’ve been gently corrected, and I’ve been loved unconditionally. In the past two weeks I have been so uncomfortable… yet so full of praise and joy.

So why is my heart heavy?

I wish I could tell you. Confusion is not from the Lord, this I know. However, my thoughts have been all over the place today. Let me just be vulnerably honest with you. I so desire to already be in Africa- the Central/Southern part living with people… loving on them- particularly those with Aids… right now. However, as things are beginning to unfold… it doesn’t look like this is where He has me going…. This is tough because why is my desire to go there so strong if my actions are not leading in that direction?

Today I started a new job working at a hospital… I’ll be there for at least seven months. I know this is what I’m to do for now…it’s a good job… one that I’m not even qualified to do- yet the Lord opened some locked doors to get me in. I should be so amazed and excited right? So thankful… I truly am. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that my heart is elsewhere. Every time my pastor voices the need for “workers” … and this has been a lot recently….it grips at my heart so much. The realization is that people are hurting; children are being led astray and abused in the very areas of the world I wish to go. Many young ones long for someone to take them into their arms and hold them and kiss their foreheads. People all around me are rising up and being sent to the very places I desire to go so badly- However, now is not my time.

“Be content Shantra, trust me”

It even goes deeper then this. It seems as if I have no control over my life… relationships/ friendships are going places they have never gone before- to new depths. I feel the pressure to do things that I have never desired to do, but I know would be honoring to Him. I experience joy, but then want to flee and not turn back. I feel temptation and fear banging on my doors from all angles. I am so uncomfortable at certain times in the way I interact with the Lord...it is out of the box- it isn’t “normal” yet I know that my Father rejoices.

To realize your life is not in your control… in fact that it is spinning out of control at a rapid pace has the potential to be very scary, even confusing. This is not the reaction He desires from us when life is unpredictably new. He wants obedience, He wants unyielding devotion. He wants us fully surrendered.

Trusting the Lord without seeing the next step is very uncomfortable. This is what it all boils down to… I lack great faith. My faith is smaller than a mustard seed! Yes, I know God has created me for great movements… that I will rise up as a great warrior for our King and I will battle hard in His timing. I know this, but do I trust this?

The hardest part for me in all of this is discerning. For example, I know the Lord has called me to Africa, but why is there a door opening where there has never been a desire? Am I to wait until the place I’ve envisioned for so long opens up? Or should I trust that perhaps His vision for me has changed? Or even more scary, that I’ve heard wrong.Or... the list goes on and on...

Do I trust certain people who have authority in my life enough to fall under their leading even if I’m not completely positive if/when/ and what having that covering looks like and even if I should?

I know it sounds like I’m losing it, but really I think I’m beginning to see what this heavy heart of mine is caused by- selfishness and lack of faith.

Bottom line. I don’t want control over my life. I want to lose my life… not in the suicidal way, but in the way that I desire the Lord to use me however, whenever, and in whichever way that looks. I want His agenda, His timing, His everything.

Empty me Lord of my own selfish desires, and my pre conceived notions of what things should look like in my mind. Take it away in Jesus name. I relinquish control to you, the Almighty King. Grow your people Lord- as a strong body boldly walking in your truth. Raise up a warrior princess in me to fight fierce for you Lord hearing you every step of the way, clearly. God focus my eyes to see you, let me hear your words without any confusion. Lord, I want to walk in your ways- not in my own. Abba I desire to be filled with you- more fully. Oh Abba, I want you desperately and I want you to be known throughout all the nations. Would you use me oh Lord. I surrender to you. I surrender. Praise you Father.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

Amen

Rush

2006-10-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, so as I'm hurriedly wiping down my car on the inside, the $5 machine is washing and waxing my car on the outside...my mind is racing... "What do I do next? What else is on the to do list? How much more time do I have?" My whole day has been a rush...

It started at 2:30 am this morning... moving- yes, I did say 2:30 am- moving into our new apartment- I work in the day... can only move at night... I went to sleep for a few hours... went to work at 6:30 am and worked until 2:00 pm... from there, I jumped into my car, peeled through the parking lot of Ross, Fred Meyer, Burlington Coat Factory, and Target for some last minute shopping- less than 48 hours until the much anticipated arrival of a friend comes! By 3:40 pm I'm racing down 19th Street for an immunization check up for my new job... need to get there before 4:00 pm! By 4:01 I'm running up my phone bill calling back all the people I've been neglecting for the past week with the new apartment, new jobs, and "life." Soon after, I'm racing up three flights of stairs to meet Lori to talk about colors for the room... only a few minutes there... and I'm off again- to go clean mom's house.... I make a detour and realize, "princess"- aka- my car needs a wash... I don't care that it is raining, or that it costs money... I need a car wash now!!! And this brings me to now... the realization has hit me...

When in the world did I jump back into American "rush" culture??? I have no idea...but I don't have time to think about it... I have fifty other things I need to get done tonight! So I've got to cut it short! Gotta run!

“Strawberries”

2006-10-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

So… about a month ago I was thinking about how much I missed coaching volleyball! Right around the same time I was asked if I could volunteer as a coach for one of the local volleyball clubs. Lori, my friend and I decided to coach together!

Well, we have a group of seventh grade girls from the city I grew up in- the Cougar cubs is our name…some of the girls are “very new to the game”… in fact, when asking the girls which position they played, one of them looked back at me and said, “shortstop.” We knew then, that we had our work cut out for us.

Last night we had practice and it was rough. They were stuck to the floor. This group of gigglers was great at chatting… but when it came to going for the ball… they were unmotivated, unfocused, and lacking heart…. So after drills -many drills, we (coaches) did the only thing left we could think of to do… we challenged them to a game... 2 on 6. Lori and I vs. a bunch of 7th graders! Oh boy, it was a sight! We were scrambling all over the place... we had a blast!

We had a great time and the girls actually moved their feet! We even managed to both pick up a few “strawberries” -aka “war wounds” on the way…. Oh they’ll be tough women by the end of our season together… “Grrr!”

We are currently undefeated 4-0… not too sure how we are doing it, but nonetheless its true. We play two matches tomorrow… we’ll see what happens!

Exhausted

2006-10-18T01:03:00.000-07:00

Lor and I are officially exhausted! In the past week we have ventured up and down the streets, slums, & plush areas of Tacoma, been hired on to teach Computers at a hospital, rode in an ambulance, found new shelter, read a lot, procrastinated on homework, watched Lost (er... fell asleep during), went to chemo, cleaned out old boxes in the garage, met with women, smelled like coffee, experienced God's huge provision and blessings... now we are officially wiped out... down for the count... ready for Zzzzzs... and thankful for every moment.

Community and Individualism can't go together

2006-10-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had neeed" Acts 4:32

A couple of months ago I had the distinct privilege of meeting with some fellow brothers and sisters from South Africa. They described to me what life was like in their village before the "white men of the west" came in and changed them. One of the men, we will call him Max communicated that nothing had labels- everything was shared. In the village, if there was food in one hut then all were welcome. Your child was raised not only by the biological mother, but by all members in the village. Everyone had a right to help raise your child. If one needed help, then all would help. If one had a party- then all were welcome. There was absolutely no sense of ownership or individuality- it was shared, communal, and it was a beautiful picture of how God desires us to live.

These people were not tied down to their own possessions. They were ruled by a sense of community and love for each other. Their worth was not built up by material junk. They did not clutch onto their IPOD, or their house, or even their families. These people operated out of love for one another. There was freedom in that.

It wasn't until church workers from the West came into their little village and displayed to them what "Christianity" looked like according to the American way. It wasn't until we (from the West), in our egocentric minds went over to a group that appeared to be so different than us (not having real homes, no developed language, no sanitary places, no "clean" food, lack of clothing) and we "errored" on believing we were better than them. We came over and yes, did teach them truths from the bible. Yes! Praise God! However, we also miss led them and displayed to them the importance of individualism- of ownership. After our visits over, their people experienced a great change. The family structure changed. Their bond vanished along with their care for each other. Aggressive greed settled in. They have been changed and the generations have been mourning ever since.

Max and everyone who has been touched by this monster of greed, selfishness, individualism, and rebellion- I ask for your forgiveness on behalf of myself and on behalf of my country. I confess that I have been prideful placing a high importance on material possessions. I confess that I have believed that people are better off if they have more, or if they are physically cleaner. This is wrong, it is a lie. Will you forgive me for this pride, this arrogance? Forgive me and my brothers and sisters before me who have led you and your children astray with our lack of obedience to the scriptures. Forgive us for taking away your sense of community. And last- Will you please forgive us for neglecting you? We came in, decisions were made for the Lord, and nobody stayed behind to feed you- to give you direction and guidance, to build you up in the word. I am so deeply sorry for this. Please forgive us.

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: 'The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me' For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God's truth, to confirm the promises made to the patriarchs so that the Gentiles may glorify God for his mercy, as it is written: 'Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles; I will sing hymns to your name'... May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:1-9

Astonished

2006-10-03T01:14:00.000-07:00

Why are we amazed when things out of the ordinary happen? We know God. We know what His word says, we know that He healed people, made manna fall from a sky, parted an unbelievable amount of water, raised people from the dead, accepted the unlovables, and never told a lie. After Jesus died he came back and gave the disciples a message,

“… you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:7

This same power… this same authority is real today. It is His. He is working miracles in and through people. Why am I so shocked when I see this happen though? This happened in the days following Christ’s death.

The Lord used Peter and John to heal a beggar on the street.

“While the beggar held on to Peter and John, all the people were astonished and came running to them in the place called Solomon’s Colonnade. When Peter saw this, he said to them: 'Men of Israel, why does this surprise you? Why do you stare at us as if by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk? The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of our fathers, has glorified his servant Jesus…. It is Jesus’ name and the faith that comes through him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see'” Acts 3

I read this and go “Man, by now the crowd should be used to the miracles…” They are ASTONISHED! In many ways I relate to the crowd here. Recently, my eyes have been opened to the reality that God really is who He says He is… and He does exactly what He says He’ll do. I am being constantly shaken and reminded that God works miraculously today. He is not hidden in a dusty book that rarely gets opened, He isn’t made to fit in a permanent outline called a church service, nor is He to be insulted by my lack of faith.

Guys, since I have moved here… I have seen people healed, experienced prophesy, witnessed changed lives through intense prayer and devotion to repentance. Personally, I have experienced freedom in areas that I didn’t even know were in “bondage.” My head is spinning with the realities of what God is doing today through his people… I can hardly keep up! It is awesome! I love it! I want to drink it in as much as I can without taking any breaths along the way. It is so good.

Alright… updates
“Cancer” is becoming a “Cancer” to my vocabulary…. Wow… Two years ago my grandma had lung cancer- Praise God-they were able to get it out with surgery…. During the same time my great Aunt Janet passed away from her cancer… my other Grandma continues battling this nasty thing… while my aunt seeks out of state help for her cancer… mom continues with her chemo… and now I await Dad’s tests hoping it is just a “bug”… Here is a great article with incredible insight from Piper… the topic is cancer… http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/1383847.html

Mom is feeling much better. She received a blood transfusion and acquired platelets this week. She has been up and about though and moving right along!

Dad did get his results back… there is a spot on his lungs and with further testing doctors will be able to give us more information.

Grandpa McDonald is out of the hospital and is doing much better!

Me...This month was honestly an up and down month… Sept is the month that not only encompasses my Step Dad’s birthday… but his death (two years ago). Mom’s health went drastically down… but since then has come drastically back up the hill! Lor and I have started coaching a volleyball team! I am enjoying my Tuesday night discipleship meetings with young women who are crazy about the Lord! Yes… all in all… Sept was good… but I look forward to the fall... October is going to bring new things to celebrate.

Ok, that’s it!

Updates

2006-09-26T00:26:00.000-07:00

Mom- Mom is feeling much better. Many people have been praying hard for her and she has had a huge turn around physically! Although she is still really short of breath, she is up and moving around again! Thank you for praying!

Dad-Dad took some pretty intense tests this morning to see what is going on in his lungs... there are two dark spots on both of his upper lungs... so we should see in about 24-48 hours what the deal is.

Grandpa McDonald- He was able to receive more blood platelets. Although he is still in ICU, he is feeling better!

Lori and I- We had the privilege of hanging out with a dear 12 yr. old young lady for the weekend... she loves volleyball... and she loves the LORD... what more could you ask for! I start work tomorrow- part time with coffee. I am also really being sharpened and challenged a lot. The body of believers at my church has really been showing me so much about God's love... His "realness" and His power... I continue to learn and am soaking in as much as I can.

Third Day - Show me your glory

2006-09-22T01:41:00.000-07:00


Video Clip

Third Day

2006-09-22T01:33:00.000-07:00

Tonight Heather, Rodman, Lori and I went to a Third Day concert at the fair. This was my first Christian concert back home in Washington. It was incredibly moving to look out into the grand stand and see the seats filled with people who were just there to worship. All my memories of this place... up to this point have been with crazy concerts, high school graduations, and many awkward Jr. High moments ... I was thankful to be able to freely praise Him tonight as a new creation... I was in awe looking around at the multitudes of people who were gathered to worship...it was a joy to be with so many brothers and sisters.

It did my heart well tonight to be here. Right before going I learned of the news about my grandfather (Heather's Dad). He is in ICU right now struggling... doctors are giving him blood tonight to try and help. Heather will be able to meet up with the rest of the family in CA tomorrow morning. I was able to see him about two weeks ago... just didn't think that it could have been the last time.

Even in the midst of storms we can still stand and cry out, worship, and bow down to our Father.

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Psalm 84:2

Tonight was good.

My Ma

2006-09-15T20:10:00.000-07:00

Well, here she is- the beautiful young woman that raised me- My Ma! Let me tell you a little bit about her. She was born on January 17, 1957. Although she was born on the East side... she couldn't stay away from the mountains and the rugged coast of Washington. Mom has sacrificed many things for me. For most of my growing up mom took care of me and provided for me. As a single mom she did her best to encourage and cheer me on in all those activities- from clarinet lessons to volleyball games, softball practice, yes, ballet and even Jazz, shh... we BOTH even wore our cheetah spandex in Jazzercize! Mom was one of my biggest fans, even if she was exhausted from working all day... she still did her best to be there...

As life has continued on... we have both gotten older... have both experienced wonderful joys and celebrations... and have both been put in places that are challenging to the core.

Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer about two years ago. When she was diagnosed and treated the first time, it was only a number of months before doctors couldn't find the cancer anymore- "A miracle"- they declared! I believe it could have been.

Several months ago doctors found it again, only this time it had spread to the liver. I was in Slovakia when I found out and mom began her chemo treatments again. I was able to move back here to WA and we have been able to walk through this hard hard time together.

You know, you can never really be prepared when doctors share "matter of fact" details when it comes to human life. Last week...As I sat in the room with the doctor, my grandpa, and my mom I didn't want to hear a time frame when it came to life, I didn't want to hear about "getting things ready," I didn't want to hear about different options, I didn't want to hear any of it... I just wanted to go back to a time and a place where nothing else really mattered except for going to a New Kids on the Block concert with my ma. A time when there were no worries... everything was happy.

I like simple. I like happiness... I desire more though.

I desire holiness.

If we never have the possibility to face storms that hurt so much, and leave our hearts so badly broken- so wounded... then I don't think I would truly learn to depend on a God who is master through all of this. I would try to manage it all on my own. Praise God that I am not standing alone! My feet are firmly planted upon Him-He is my ultimate strength. Nothing can separate me from Him... not hurt, not unknowns, not even death (Romans 8:38). God is real- My love for God does not waiver depending on life's situations. How selfish am I to love God when things are going well for me, and pout when things are not going my way! Life isn't about me! Unfortunately, that is what my sinful nature wants to fall towards.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Many people have asked me recently, "Shantra, how can you believe in a God who lets things like cancer, war, and murder happen?"

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:13-16

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the LORD, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10

"For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous." Romans 5:18

My simple answer is, "How can I not?"

This isn't easy... in fact it is hard... so hard... and it is causing me to cry out, pray boldly, and seek Him constantly. I ask for you to join me. Please pray for our family. Pray for a whole complete restoration in mom- emotional, spiritual, physical, mental. Pray that my entire family would KNOW His love and embrace it. Pray for us, that we would surrender ourselves fully.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Amen

Faith

2006-09-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wanted to cry, laugh, run, get mad, kneel, raise your hands, or weep all in the same day… and all in the time period of oh- about ten minutes? I have.

What about having thoughts like these?
The Holy Spirit doesn’t seem to talk to me or use me as powerfully as He uses others. God can’t save those that I love, they just won’t respond. I can’t boldly pray for healing or ministering boldly- what if it doesn’t work? Basically fear, lies, and unbelief are all a part of what the enemy throws at us.

I can’t help but wonder if those who have gone before us experienced similar emotions.

Hebrews 11 (various verses)
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

…by faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.

By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away

By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the Promised Land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise.

By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice.
By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.
By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones.

By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict.
By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time…By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.

By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.
By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days.
By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.

And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

It does not look like any of these people who risked their lives in order to please God had any type of wavering faith. I don’t see a fear of ministering boldly, proclaiming that He is Lord to a bunch of people who would ridicule them, having a fear that God won’t answer. Honestly, I look at their faith and go, “Wow”

Why can’t I have faith like that? See, I think I have been struck with believing a lie that God really only works in miraculous ways for other people, or it only happened a long time ago… or faith like this just simply can’t happen today. This is not true. It’s a lie. It is what the enemy wants us all to believe in order to cripple His people! Those who live lukewarm lives and who don’t really care about seeking hard after Jesus are not a threat. Their faith only extends as far as is comfortable. Satan is more worried about the Rahabs of today, the Abrahams, the Josephs. Why wouldn’t the enemy feed numerous lies into our heads so that we scour in unbelief that God doesn’t really do what He says He’ll do today?
How much more do we need to be girded up and ready to come against those lies?

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand… take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. “ Eph. 6:13, 16

I desire to live a life that does not make sense to the world. People should wonder in their heads if the girl they see in front of them is simply crazy! I don’t want be normal or live comfortably… I want to live for Him- whole heartedly, no barriers, no hindrances coming between us, sold out, %100 convinced that He is Lord and I am his follower, pressing on to uncharted waters, no turning back! Let’s go!

Knowing full well that this glorifies God and makes the enemy cringe… I’ve got to be ready for the battle. If I desire wisdom like those who came before me had… then I better be in the word… if I want to hear the Lord… then I better be listening and communicating frequently… when I don’t feel that I can hear Him… then I need to wait longer… when I sense everything closing in around me… then I’ll boldly proclaim that Jesus Christ is Lord of Lords… He has been, He is, and He will continue to be so forever more!

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

Blessed be your name

2006-09-05T18:12:00.000-07:00

Blessed Be Your Name Lyrics

Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name when the suns shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name
on the road marked with suffering
Though theres pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Pictures galore

2006-08-26T00:28:00.000-07:00

Pictures: I have been wanting to show you pictures from this summer, but blogger has not been working... so tadda... here they are! Enjoy! This is from the past month of being back in the states!

I went to Yosemite National Park with my Dad, stepmom, and brothers. When we were there we went hiking up to this waterfall and enjoyed the rainbow along the way.

My brother Rodman and I at the top of the falls!

Beautiful Ma receiving Chemo treatment...she's a little sleepy!

This was in Texas with Adam's family, Lori, and Heather. We thoroughly enjoyed our stay there! We were well taken care of! Thank you guys!

They even took us swimming to a Springs... in the desert!

Lori and I stopped in Dallas on the way back to see B, Becky, and Harley! I also enjoyed a little Chick-Fil-A with Stacy!

In Florida Peg and I had a reunion of walking on the beach, talking, and running from big bugs. Heather, we loved seeing you in Louisiana! When are you coming to WA?

Beck introduced me to dairy farming, motorcycle rides, and the barn!Oh I loved it!

And finally, Lori and I made it back safely home to Lakewood, WA just in time to crash on my bed! Ahh... we made it! What an incredible month.